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If you threaten exile enough times, your partner will actually begin to believe you and no longer expect the relationship to continue. Unless you're sure you want out, you'll be smart to use different phrases if you feel this uninterested in staying connected.

10 Things to Remember About Toxic Family Members

Hostile challenges are questions or statements that are delivered with sarcasm or defiance, and are never true questions of inquiry. They don't go after the partner's innate personality characteristics or the validity of their statements, but rather their right to even make them.

If you are challenging your partner's basic rights to feel, think, or behave in certain ways, you will ask mean questions to "show" your partner how stupid or incompetent he or she is. Each time your partner tries to make a point, you will interrupt and push hard for your win by undermining whatever his or her reasons are for that opinion. When people feel hostile, they often pull the parental card. Pointing or wagging their finger, they quote authorities, absent friends, or previously established prejudices, in order to push home their point.

If you use unchallengeable hierarchy to make your partner feel like a chastised child, you'll use information from an outside source to add weight to your argument. This kind of hostile venting can have the most negative impact because it activates childhood guilt or embarrassment. It is particularly hurtful if you know your partner's history and use what vulnerable memories they've revealed to you to make your point. There are five ways that hostile behavior can be understood and eventually stopped. They are very simple to learn, difficult to practice, and very effective. In order for them to work, both partners must genuinely want to stop their negative patterns and understand that their relationship can otherwise be in jeopardy.

Anyone can get angry. When people are frustrated, scared, hurt, rejected, or suppressed, they like their partners to know how they feel.

Eggshell Relationships | Psychology Today

Suitably expressing negative feelings is part of every successful compromise, but raging, hurtful, destructive venting is not healthy for any relationship. People learn destructive anger in childhood. Their first exposure to dysfunctional outbursts of anger happens when they are small, whether directed at them or observed. When parents are mean to each other in front of their children, they teach those children to cower, to run away, or to react with their own hostility. If they are not taught successful conflict resolution or healthy coping responses, they will make the same mistakes in their adult relationships.

When adults display those unhealthy patterns, they often don't realize their own inner child is who is driving them to behave that way. Despite their being adults in their current interaction, inside they are all the ages they've ever been. If they were the targets of their parent's hostilities, or witness frequent verbal insults between their parents, they are likely to react to similar phrases as adults.

Each partner has different memories and different experiences. Neither partner can ever fully understand the depth and details of the other's feelings. In an argument, the person being attacked is the only one who can define whether a hostile phrase is abusive or not. Childhood hurts re-experienced can feel as they did the first time they happened. When one partner issues a hostile phrase, he or she cannot guarantee that the other partner will experience it as it was intended.

Each partner may feel differently about any chosen phrase, whether uttering it or experiencing it from the other. As arguments escalate and partners forget their caring for each other, they will regress in to those childhood responses. They will begin to fight back as if their partners were their angry parents. They may feel more empowered to fight as an adult than they could have as a child, but nevertheless, respond as if they are still as vulnerable as they were then.

Once partners help each other identify anger patterns in their families of origin, they must then see where those same patterns play out in their adult lives. To do this effectively, they must let a part of their minds observe their hostile interactions from outside as they happen. The most powerful tool a couple can use is their own mental virtual video.

This exercise requires that both partners have agreed to help each other become alert to any childhood reactions they mutually activate as soon as they begin. They both stand outside themselves running the camera, objectively observing their hostile interactions while continuing to fight. They're looking for any signs that they may be regressing: raising voices, increasing tempo, interrupting, and changing postures or facial expressions. Their mental video will likely show them as young enemies, out to destroy each other as they grow desperate to hold their positions.

If they can imagine that they will be playing back that video for anyone they would want to impress, they might be more able to change the nature of their interactions to hold them within boundaries they both respect. This technique works best if both partners consciously attempt to move the camera to focus on different parts of the scene, zooming close in to each of them and then moving away to encapsulate the whole picture. Within a short time of repeating this exercise, both partners will see how deeply embarrassed they would be were their hostile actions to be observed.

Watching themselves recreate the negative patterns they were taught as children will help them revisit their childhood experiences and can help motivate them to break the inter-generational patterns. Whichever of the six hostile patterns you may use, you will be more likely to break your patterns if you face them courageously. Begin by writing down the mean phrases each of you uses most often. Then ask yourself where you learned them and what you mean when you say them. Do not do this during a fight, but as soon as possible afterwards.

Put your phrases in each category, or add a new category if needed. If your partner will do this exercise with you, you will both move more quickly toward healing your negative interactions. After you have helped each other identify those hostile phrases and their origins, share the feelings you had as children when you first heard them. Tell each other why you still use them, what you feel when say them, and how it affects you when you hear them.

Talk to each other about what you want when you are upset, and if there would be anything else you or your partner could do instead of escalating into these destructive patterns. Once you have identified where you learned your hostile phrases, watched them from your virtual videos, and evaluated them together, you're ready for the next step. Anytime you want to lessen damaging behaviors, you will find it easier to prevent them before an argument begins than to stop them once they start. Sometimes your feelings of anger, hurt, or need to retaliate begin slowly. At other times, you may find yourself erupting instantaneously, especially after many fights have ended without resolution.

How quickly you react to conflict typically follows your history of past destructive interactions, but some partners are sensitive to any conflict and move to a defensive position immediately. Exhaustion, overload, or illness can also lower frustration tolerance. Try to note where feelings of hostility begin in your body as soon as you become aware of them. What are your symptoms? Many people feel anger in their lower bellies building as it rises to the top of their heads.

Others feel it as a pit in their stomachs or in their throats. You can expect accompanying symptoms of rapid breathing, clenched hands, a higher-pitched and louder voice, and more rapid verbal exchanges. You may anticipate losing something important, or of being unfairly condemned. As those physical symptoms arise, most people stop experiencing their partner's actual presence, and perceive them like hurtful people from their past.

The verbal attacks escalate and formerly loving partners become temporary enemies until the hostile interactions end. Then they must do damage control and try to reinstate the love they felt before. Once you recognize the symptoms of building hostility, the next step is to pay attention to how you felt before the cascade began. Ask yourself these following questions:. Once you and your partner have helped each other understand the impact of your hostile words, you are ready to change how you handle yourself in succeeding arguments.

Take each hostile phrase you have examined together, and tell your partner how he or she could have expressed those same feelings in ways you could have accepted. When you are doing the exercises together, you may come up with examples that more accurately fit your personal relationship. Partners who are willing to do the work can undo the negative spiral. It takes time and patience, but the end result will be well worth the effort.

And its shows even though you gave examples of cursing, but that it doesnt take cursing statements to be hostile and slowly kill your relationship. I've been preached to, yelled at, called names, all in the heat of the moment -- told to get lost, etc. I don't think anyone should stay in a relationship that makes him or her feel as badly as you do. Perhaps instead of focusing on why you should leave ask yourself what still keeps you there. Sometimes people have traumatic experiences in childhood that tells them that love must include pain. Those are intrinsic drivers that keep us from trusting otherwise.

Forced Sex, partner getting drunk most of the time, hanging issues my the Ex's, they are so depressing. One wonders why stay if things are getting worser everyday. Dear Anonymous, People stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. Don't blame yourself for attachments you may not yet able to break. Seek out others who have succeeded to help you. Just came across this article and realized that I use quite a few of those examples, and I am ashamed of myself.

To think that I treat the one person who has stood by me like that makes me feel very low. Time for an apology and maybe some counseling. Thank you so much for your comment. Realizing your own accountability is a hopeful and positive first step. If your partner still loves you, your new awareness and commitment will be warmly and appreciatively received.

Thanks for writing this article and the others. I have been dealing with many of these same problems for a long time. My wife and I both grew up in dysfunctional families. My wife drinks all evening then blows up and says some hurtful things at a perceived slight, apologizes later and the cycle continues. I've asked her to come with me to counseling or to get counseling but she refuses so I'm trying Al Anon For Families and will be getting some counseling for myself.

What do you do when the other person is unwilling to work at improving a marriage? Is it enough to try to do differently by yourself? Thank you so much for your comments. I've written about articles for Psychology Today in the last few years. If you go to my web site, randigunther dot com, and hit the icon for Psychology Today, you can find them all. Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem.

Return to Book Page. This book discusses and describes the thinking and behavior patterns of Chronically Hurtful People. The reader will understand how and why these patterns are irresponsible. Readers will be given several ways to look at diagnosis and some theories related to the origins of problem behavior in the CHP. An overall formula for intervention and specific intervention strategies are taught. In addition, readers will learn about some of the common problems encountered in dealing with CHPs and learn ways to avoid these problems. Get A Copy. Kindle Edition , pages. More Details Friend Reviews.

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. I self garmed for years to cope and punish myself for feelings that were NOT allowed. I never knew a normal household. I have broken that bad coping seeing it for what it is. People cope to numb the problem. You need to see it. Decide whats bad and start to help yourself. Abusive families brainwashed us to accept their bad actions.

We are adults now. We say. We chose. Not them. We just need to realize we are grown up and can chose. I find it hard to trust, or even feel emotions sometimes. Any advice? Sorry :. Thank you for your comment, Phillipa. In addition, my sister is still emotionally abusing me at present. Phillipa, we are concerned over the information you provided in your comment. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be helpful to you here. I exactly feel the same way you feel.. All my life ive been emotionally and physically abused by my whole family.. Its hard for me to understand others feelings,i have a low self esteem and confidence, im painfully shy, i have trouble making friends.

I already accepted the fact that no one is going to help me but myself. Im not hoping anymore that my family is gonna understand what im going through…so lets just rely on ourselves…i really really want to move out and live in some other state coz i freaking swear that i dont want to live with them anymore…lets just focus on ourselves.. I believe my current intimacy disorders and drug abuse is a subconcious effect of childhood. At 12 I came out as gay and was bullied even by so called friends. Eventually when parents split I went wild, excessive dressing, prostitution, and drugs.

Now all thats behind me I still distrust people and have never had a relationship i have promiscuous sex when high then feel repulsed by the guy. How do you stop something from your past defining you now when your not even aware of it? My mother developed mental problems as a result of her own abusive childhood, and by the time I was two years old, I had very little contact with anyone except my sister, who was four at the time. When my mother was put into a mental hospital, my father had to work two jobs to support us, and so I had very little adult influence until I was almost seven, when he remarried.

My new stepmother was the perpetrator in my case; she commented more and more frequently over the years on my weight, appearance, personality, and intellect, leading me to develop many self-destructive tendencies. You sound amazing! Children are born sweet, amazing, loving and perfect. Its never about whats the matter with you but what happened to you.

Adults who dont value you and respect us, push those feelings on us. We accept them. Then we believe them.

Its very damaging. All the bad coping is just trying to deal with the lies. Once you really see the lies — you no longer need to punish yourself for not measuring up. Hi there I wrote last night a comment on this site and hope it will be published after review by the administrator. When i woke up this morning, i went back on the computer for giving another tip for those who suffer and also to thank them to tell about their suffering. The more you read about, the more you will understand what happened and how you can overcome it.

Doing this is a little like having a lion in your bedroom closet. You can try to keep the lion of your past abuse caged in all different ways, some positive working hard, exercising, achieving, keeping busy, etc. But, in the end the lion is too strong for whatever doors you have erected, and your mind is flooded with memories.

You relive your abuse and are again filled with the fear, rage, and anguish you experienced as a young child. But there is a third way. Since as a young child my father has been the abuser in my life. Thanks to him my life is still not back together. He did nothing but treat me and my mother horribly growing up. My mother was diagnosed with MS When I was 7 years old and even with that he never backed down from his ways. As a young child I wanted my fathers approval. He used to down grade me and tell me I was worthless and no good, and that I was the reason he was like this to me and my mother.

He would constantly threaten us about doing harmful things. And at time went through with it, but what was worse of all to me was not the physical abuse but the emotional one. As I grew older around 10 I had to take much responibility and grow up fast.

I remember seeing her and running to my father asking to help because I was too young to pick her up after she had fallen, All he did was shrug his shoulders and said so. My father refused to help her at any time which meant I had to help her with her shots. Clean our home, cook our dinner, homeschool myself, all while my father complained, sat around, watched porn and absolutely belittled us. As times went on I became very hard. My wall officially went up and I never trusted anyone. When I was 13 my mother died. I had found her outside laying down. My life fell apart because now I knew she was finally safe, but I was not.

He went on to even fake cry at her funeral. After that me and him grew further apart because 2 months after she died he started dating. Later married my best friends mother. Then my life became hell. Although the physical abuse stopped the emotional did not. He treated my step sister like gold and would purposely do so just so I would know he hated me. And as usual everything I did was wrong, but now My. Step sister was right and perfect. My stepmother I hated, but I respected her as his wife. My father was already against me but she tried to make him more. So therefore I was officially alone.

When I came back all my things were on the curb and the street just throwed everywhere while the door locks were changed. My father literally kicked me to the curb and said nothing. My step mother was their when I saw everything, and all she said was bye and gave me a smile. I see him from time to time and the looks he gives me are devilish. But the scars remain. The things he says causes me to break down because in a way my father said the same.

And it hinders our relationship. I only hope once this baby boy comes life will be brighter. My parents divorced when I was a year old. As a toddler I was hospitalized frequently for asthma attacks, where my mother would leave me all alone in the hospital so she could go to work. When I was 5 I saw her raped. Her boyfriends were always self-absorbed potheads. Anyway, I have zero confidence in dating and have bad social anxiety and depression. I think the research has some truth to it. Thank you for your comment, Danielle. Since i was little i struggled with how i look because no one Has really complimented me or gave me alot of emotionally attention due to struggling with money and survival due to the fact i had a single mother.

What should i do???? The one thing about these web sites is its only a web site. There is no realistic way to get help unless your rich any more. The world is so sucked into virtual reality that there is no true compassion. If you go to church you can get free counceling if you swallow the churches beliefs and let them abuse you as well. Yes I said it. Churches use and abuse the needy.

When I was a child my mother and father were heavy drug users and there was no parents throughout the household. Me and my siblings were alone but we stayed together for 3 years and throughout them years my older siblings acted like parents to me even though they were children themselves. Will I ever love again? Can someone help me. As an adult I start to feel emotionally claustrophic very easily when starting a relationship with the opposite sex, does anyone else have this issue?

I was the only one out of my family who received the physical abuse — both my parents and both my brothers hit me and that was until I was in my late teens. My eldest brother involved me in sexual activity with him. When I go to bed at night I often am faced with the family past.

Its very hard when people can be so nice to you and then have these hidden facets in their personality which appear. I feel sad that I feel unloved in the proper sense of the word. I grew up hating my father because he used to mistreat my mother and beat me and my entire family. I dreaded the times I used to come home. I barely had friends when I was younger and used to keep to my self.

I was a loner. I was physically abused and sexually by my brother and I told no one till today. I had to use all my physical strength to push my door when she was trying to come in. Then I slumped on the floor in tears : Every single day for years. This affected my confidence for years and I never achieved what I wanted due to this and now Im being bullied at work for 9 months and I cannot cope! No-one understands. You are also welcome to call us for assistance finding a therapist. We are in the office Monday through Friday from a.

Pacific Time; our phone number is ext. Same boat with being bullied at work for being too quiet. Ive also been emotionally and im pretty sure sexually abused only bits and pieces are left of the sexual abuse. I think my mind did a decent job of locking that part up but its still there. Im 36 as of two days ago and my childhood is being brought back in my life due to family issues at the moment. But now, it still affects my life even at the workplace when i sit as low as i can at my desk being as quiet as i can. I feel like i can never catch a break.

Nobody will leave me alone even when i try to be invisible. I can never hide. Im sorry for what are went and what u are going through now. I can only say i understand. I wish i knew of a way i could help. Im sorry. Hi Laura, i also experienced what you are going through in your childhood life, its a family great issue especially when competition is too high and the treatment of a parent of other siblings is not equal and fair.

Those are the days when we struggle for same love and affection of a parent to be given fairly to us. Im a middle child in the family with 5 other siblings and i am jealous and hated very much by my elder sister. But i know God has its own ways and purpose in everything that were going through, maybe there is a lesson that can change us when we become adult, and councelors and Life coaches are the right person entrusted to us to change and heal our emotional burden and life issue. God bless! Just sharing.

I was beaten regularly, physically, emotionally abused, and sexually abused by my uncle. I have little confidence in my ability to converse without being socially inappropriate. But the thing the drives me crazy is not caring about others. I feel hate, anger, fear, but not love. Despite counseling, I share little with others about what I think. I am afraid to share because it is embarrassing to admit these things. Thanks buddy. It is terrible to hear all these stories. However, it is essential that this cycle is broken.

I was fortunate to come from a very large close family with its own issues — but never abusive. For some reason I have been in 3 relationships with women who have been emotionally abused. Their reaction to me is sometimes dumbfounding one hit me, one threatened to kill herself and one has major anger and intimacy issues. In each case they have refused to address their past which has led to them being able to deal with a healthy relationship and in turn they are the abusers.

Love definitely cannot conquer all but you deserve to be loved and are worth it just let people in and they will care. All is not lost a good counsellor is able to help you confront your demons and may actually assist in making your partner understand your difficulties. There are people who will love you I did for all 3 women trust yourselves, professionals and possibly open up to your chosen loved ones — we chose you too warts and all x.

Yes danny, you are very normal. Im sorry for what has happened. Thwre are ways for coping and healing but im still researching all this for myself. But you are normal. We are normal. Hi dan, you are normal, but whats keeping you normal is maybe you are heading to a major depression, there maybe a sign and symptoms that you simply overlook, base on what you have said you show no emotions and blank, Some other signs of major depression is keeping out of touch of reality and show outburst of anger, my advise to you, dont be afraid to visit psychiatrist and life coach to give you more advise for proper treatment and healing beacause they are the right person who knows our emotional burden health issue and psychological problem.

God bless and be hopeful in life.! Of course, just because we were abused, does NOT mean there is something wrong with us. We are born and have an innate knowledge of survival requiring food, water, shelter…to be deprived of these things is neglect. Indeed, seeing how destructive various forms of abuse are to our self- confidence and ultimately, belief in a loving higher being who can change our understanding of our situations and circumstances, makes me feel more than positive that the devil has been busy preparing a spot in fiery Hell.

I also grew up without the kind of supports I felt I needed to be assured and encouraged to overcome my social fears. I felt religion was a crutch for morally weak people who needed to blame others for their problems. The Bible never says incest, rape, or prostitution are right. But the fact that it does mention these things makes me more aware of its applicability. Things like unfaithfulness, brokenness, defilement, sin, bondage, slavery and forgiveness, redemption, wholeness, protection, freedom, righteousness and justice.

Sometimes, the suffering continues because of our own brokenness and sin. Instead of asking for wisdom and understanding, we easily question the nature of a God that suffers with us. Who weeps with us.

How to Identify and Deal with the Difficult, Destructive and Disconnected

Who is torn apart with compassion upon the sick, the handicapped, the unholy…who knew no sin and died to break the curse of a fallen world. Is it possible for us to see the depravity of man in His eyes? What shall we do without understanding the compassion and mercy of a being who detests sin? If God does not exist, what shall stop humanity from its fate of self-destruction, which is ultimately what sin is? I am unable to become invested in any real relationship, both friend or romantic. Out of sight, out of mind. Childhood abuse, my long term addictions, and sex work with all of the crap that entails have ruined me.

I am in therapy, on anti-depressants, see a great psychiatrist, and yet, still have that hole of fear in my gut and difficulty maintaining a job or friendship. What would you suggest? I am feeling really lost and disconnected right now. The effects have permeated every part of my life but most obvious in all are my interactions with others from my daughter, partner and work colleagues. I remember a particular clear incident but other memories seem to be just out of reach, I feel these memories in my body but can not place them in context or setting so I worry they are fake.

Hopefully I can just switch the flashbacks back off again it us rather tiring. When I was growing up I suffered severe emotional abuse. There was some physical abuse. When I was 7 my mother had an affair with a coworker. She would sometimes bring me a long. My parents got into heated arguments daily. Much of it was physical. In the morning time my father would rush me while getting ready for school. He would call me stupid and idiot. After school I was always the last child Picked up from daycare.


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My dad was working and my mom was busy with her affair and would show up 45 minutes late every day. When she would get mad at me she would smack me in my face. Sometimes in public. If we were at home she did not want to be disturbed during her television shows. If I would try to get her attention she would smack me for disturbing her show.

Today my life is a mess. I would not blame it all on them but the abuse that I suffered still plays a role. I have been trying to graduate college for 18 years now. Getting out of bed is a chore. I am 37 and have never had a significant relationship. My first memories as a child are watching 8mm porn on my parents bedroom wall.

Watching my dad do stuff sexually to my mom while she screamed and cried. He beat her all the time and then he started on me. I can remember learning to walk, my first haircut… My dad would get drunk and do strip teases and tgis dance where he would get an erection and snake it out his underwear. As a kid I would just laugh because I was only 3 or 4.

He was in the Army and we moved a lot. My mom left him and custody battles went back and forth for a few years but him being in the Army and having more money he won and got custody. He encouraged pirn, drinking and violence. He was married at least 7 times before he died. He was only 57 when he died. Still a drunk womanizer. He slept with my first wife and tried to with a girlfriend.

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He told me my whole life how I would never be as good as him. My mom would get visitation in the summer and she usually sent me to my aunts. She would lock me outside and stay in the trailer smoking dope and doin pills. The other boy started doing stuff to me and I was afraid to say no. I started cutting myself and trying to break bones. It always made me feel better for some reason. My mom got custody in the six grade and i thought things might get better but it was worse emotionally.

She stayed out partying at nite leaving me at home when I was scared. Always looking for reasons to ground me so I had to stay home and sit in the living room where she could see me. She never believed me about what was going on at my aunts house and she even let her call me a freak and got mad at me because i ruined her babysitting me. Thank you for your comment, Steve. My husband left me about two months ago. He was distant and drank all the time for the two weeks he remained at home.

I believe he is still heavily drinking now. He blamed me for his unhappiness. Right before this happened we were planning to adopt, move ahead with our lives, and all of our friends said how much he loved and adored me. He now wants a divorce. I feel like he went crazy and became a different man overnight.

I want to be there for him because I love him and I know the man I know is still there somewhere, but I am not sure if I can. I saw him do this before to someone else when we were just friends. I am 17 years old now. Just turned on October 24 of this year. I have been emotionally abused since I could remember. My parents struggled with drugs until I was My dad still does coke at times but hardly ever. Sorry about the language. I was sexually abused by my grandfather. He also abused my mom until she was 15 I think.

I also suspect I was abused by my father. A couple of times I would get a flash back of him touching my chest while I was at least 7 or younger. My mother and sister abuse me emotionally. My sister also yells at me for no reason. Calls me fat and says she wishes I was never born. They make me wish also. Even during school. My sister just graduated high school last year.

She is going to a 7 month program so she can do peoples hair and eye lashes. I made the mistake of asking her when she was going to metro state university. She got accepted. I expected her to go to college. Like real college. And she started yelling at me because apparently her classes are college classes. I honestly have never lied to my parents. I do what they ask and right when they ask me.

I live in the basement with my sister we have no walls or anything. Just hung up blankets in between our rooms. My sister likes to Good Night threw my stuff claiming my stuff is hers and that I steal everything from her. It gets me in big trouble. Today I went over to my boyfriend of three years house to do ap chemistry with him and got grounded for basically until i move out because I was late in getting home. My sister when she was 13 ran away and had sex with a 17 year old to get back at my mom for doing drugs. They let her do whatever she wants because of it.

She did contract a curable std but they did not control her. She got to do whatever she wanted. I always wonder if I did that would they love me like her? My sister gets to do what ever she wants. I have to slave away at cleaning and cooking. If I miss something, I get yelled at, grounded, or my phone set back another month from getting turned on. Where I have to hide my bruises. They hurt me so much emotionally. My dad calls me retarded and when my sister calls me ugly my mom agrees.

They lie to peoples faces about me. They tell my teachers about a relationship we never have. Every one believes them. My sister tells them she wants pizza they get it for her. I say I want hot wings. I want a phone which they barley got for me, from a pawn shop! They jump for my sister. They took my appetite away. When they leave I might get it back and find something small to eat. Like a protein bar or something. My boyfriend tries his hardest to make be feel better, I love his efforts, but the happiness fades once I return or once he leaves. Life is just getting worse. I just want to cry forever.

I feel horrible just lashing out the way I do. My headaches have been worse. How can anyone ever be happy when people are making things go bad in every way they can? Yeah I know my life is fucked up, always has been. Even by teachers and friends. For once I finally found someone who wants be to do this and go there but everyone is making it impossible. New York still haunts me, minds matter still crushes me. My parents keep me captive. My sister mentally kills me.

I cannot win. My parents hate me. Every one is just sitting back and watching me. Life gets harder every passing day. No one really understands. I know no one ever will. They ignore me. Mistreat me. What did I do when they had me that made them resent me so much? I do my best every single day to please them, to make them proud.

All I get in return is a go to your room or get the fuck out of my face. My sister loves to makes feel like shit and no one is ever there to witness it. No ones going to listen. Now my bed reeks of beer that my dad spilt. It leaked through the floor. Does anyone care? That funny. No ones going to care, no ones going to even know. I have to conceal. Not feel. Be quiet. But at the same time. Be happy, energetic, funny, and hide an emotion that wants to escape every passing day.

I need out. Please help me. We received the comment that you submitted on our blog last night. Thank you so much for visiting GoodTherapy. You can do one of the following immediately:. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is equipped to take a wide range of calls, from immediate suicidal crisis to providing information about mental health. RAINN provides support for sexual assault victims and their loved ones through two hotlines at HOPE and Online. Whether you are more comfortable on the telephone or online, RAINN has services that can guide you in your recovery.

HOPE, and you will be directed to a rape crisis center near your area.