Ovation Wed. Ovation Thur. The Talented Mr. Paramount Thur. Sundance Mon. Showtime Thur. FX Wed. FX Sat. Another 48 HRS. Encore Sat. Starz Fri. VH1 Fri. HBO Fri. BET Thur. KCET Sat. AMC Wed. E Wed. HBO Thur. FX Fri. AMC Mon. Freeform Wed. Ovation Sat. TNT Sun. Encore Wed. Encore Fri. AMC Tues. Freeform Sun. EPIX Sat.
CMT Thur. Comedy Central Sun. USA Sat. E Sat. He was the first ducking dog i trained. I made allot of mistakes with him,but the mistakes i made helped me to be a better trainder. He and i learned to hunt fowl together. I have ownbed him since he was 8 weeks old. Should i send him to the other side b4 he starts to decline or should i wait a few months until he gets visibly ill?
I know that if i do this ,i will kick myself for not letting him go with dignity and grace. Please help with some input on my plight and point me in a direction i can live with. For shane, I putting my 14 year old Lab mix down Wednesday morning. His seizures are becoming more frequent and more voilent.
The vet suggest Phenabarb but that will only make him sleep and get fat. Otherwise, he is healthy and active. I AM going to spare him the indignities of incontinence and blindness that are sure to come in the next few months. Everyone is supportive. And many of my friends say they waited too late. Thank you for writing this. In two months time she had gone from always ready to play ball and frisbee to being worn out by a walk around the yard.
I truly would have done anything to help her but hemangiosarcoma is cruel and in the end all I could do was spend time with her doing what she loved for as long as she could, then help her ease out when life became increasingly difficult for her. How good that you could be there one last time for your dear dog.
What a blessing you gave her. My heart goes out to you…. I made the decision to put down a beautiful rescue that had been abused. I worked with his fear aggression and it decreased but it seemed that he was then developing dominance aggression. He had bitten times, when I rescued him. Once just snapped when he was startled out of sleep, caught the skin.
Once bit the abusers hand, had to see dr but no stitches and clamped down on coowners had when she was trying to move him from kennel. Soon after I got him, he snapped, growled and bit me on reflex when I once startled him. Not thinking the person walking him smacked him on his snout trying to get him to release it. Poor dog, he released the object and attacked the person. Understandable…he had been abused and he never should have been touched at all. I then got a trainer in to evaluate him since I have decades of dog but no experience with abuse or aggression.
He turned on the trainer, who as far as I could see was not hurting him…but WAS preventing him from moving away from him. I tried to find someone with experience to take him, and was willing to do what I knew I was capable of doing. I ended up putting him down. This dog was a perfect angel otherwise. I am now certain I did the wrong thing, based my decision on fear and I am tormented by guilt and remorse. The pain is really excruciating, I feel like a murderer.
He had bitten 3 times, out of fear, snarled and growled warnings many times, and postured growled defensively a few times. This is just awful. Sandy: Please be as kind and gentle to yourself as you would be if someone else told you this story. What would you say to them?
That they tried their hardest, and finally did what they thought was best at the time? That the dog himself would no doubt forgive her? And then, re-read the part about taking care of yourself, because you are grieving and your brain is telling you that you have been badly injured. You have, and you need kindness and comfort and nurturing.
Right now your job is to take care of yourself, or find someone to help you do it for you. I will surely bring a deeper level of empathy and compassion for others that go through this. Best to you. We had to put our best friend, Bear down last Tuesday. We had him for eleven years and he was the best dog we had ever had. He went everywhere we went, slept with us, ate with us and was a huge part of our lives. He was a big Black Lab and he had a wonderful sense of humor and loved to play tricks on us.
Wednesday afternoon, after I got off work, I told my husband I needed to get out of our quiet house, as all we had done was sit around and cry. I talked him in to going to a casino and renting a motel room and having dinner with our kids.
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When we came home the next day, we decided to try to retrieve his body and it was too late, they had taken it to the county dump the day before. Had we asked for it then, we could have had him. I called the dump and they had already buried him and would not dig him up so we could claim his body and bury him at our house. We are both so filled with grief and guilt for treating our faithful friend that way that it is all consuming. Thank you so much for these healing words.
We were the 4th rescue family for a very special dog. Her first owners had let her run and she was hit by a car. Someone turned her into another rescue from which we adopted her from. She was 3yrs old and only weighed 32 lbs 58 lbs is her normal weight now , had demodex and fly strikes on her ears. We nursed her back to health took her for obedience classes and worked very hard to teach her better manners. She jumped the 4 ft.
She was food aggressive so we put up gates in our doorways and fed her separately. She would jump those gates so we put up another set above the other ones. For the first three years we had her things were improving and she was such a happy girl. About a year ago things started getting bad. She started challenging our old boxer girl and would not stop the attack until we physically pulled them apart. We kept them separated at all times since the attacks were starting to yield blood drawing injuries to our poor old girl.
We truly loved this dog but could no longer keep her. We were afraid to put her in rescue again because of her past history and made the gut wrenching decision to put her down.
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I feel as though we failed her but she will no longer starve, be beaten or be abandoned. Karen: You did NOT fail your dog. You gave her over 4 wonderful years, moved heaven and earth to try to help her and finally did what you had to do to protect an elderly dog from horrific injury or death. What matters is how much grace you can muster to buffer the storm. Most importantly, take care of yourself. I hope the pain eases soon, and that those around you are supportive. I had to take our older dog in to the vet today because her eye swelled shut over the last two days.
There is a scratch to the inner lid and eyeball. While I was there someone brought in two dogs that had to be put down. One was torn up to the point you could see her heart. The other one just had a couple of nip marks. God works in mysterious ways. That could have very easily been me with my old girl. Thanks again! I am so glad I found this site. I just put my beloved Wynn down on Thursday. I got him from a rescue shelter when he was 2 years old.
It was very clear he had been abused. The first few years were great…then, he bit my neighbors son unprovoked and and broke the skin through jeans. It was easy to write it off as a fluke. Then he bit another boy as he was coming down the sidewalk. The police were called and it was easy to rationalize that it was just a scrape….
Then he nipped at a girl who was trying to put him in my backyard…. She had simply put her hand to the fence for him to smell and he got her through the fence. He was becoming more and more possessive and then started going to the bathroom in my house. I have been overcome with guilt and constantly second guess my decision. He was healthy and truly wonderful…. It could have been a child the next time. I battled with this decision for months and I finally came to terms with the fact I had no other option.
I could not, in good faith, re-home him knowing he was a biter. This website has helped bring me some relief hearing others stories and realizing we are not in control. My heart hurts so badly. I just need to know it was the right decision. In my heart of hearts I know it was right…. Today, I am letting go of the guilt and focusing on the fact he is now free from the burdens he carried with him and I am sure he is running happy and free with my other boy Mobie….
Thank you so much for this site. You and I are in the same exact boat. Your story mimics mine almost exactly. We put down our beautiful St. Bernard on Monday. He was a wonderful family dog, only 4 years old. But his aggression had gotten to the point where I was afraid he would bite one of my children, as he bit me last week.
He has probably bitten times, mostly nips but occasionally harder than that. But the truth is that he was ruining our lives. Our kids could not have friends over, in fact no one came over anymore. He was sweet with my kids but we could not control him and it was just a matter of time before he seriously hurt someone. The last straw, other than biting me, was when he attacked a neighbor while her little kids watched. He broke the skin even. Had she not been standing right by the door and been able to get inside, I knew I could not have stopped him from hurting her seriously.
I feel SO guilty and feel like we should have trained him better, maybe tried to find someone who could take him. I feel like we failed him. And he was such a good dog otherwise. It just feels like a waste of a beautiful life. And on top of that, I miss him so much! He was a comforting presence in my house nonetheless. I loved that dog. I had Spot for almost 19 years and had to put her down last week due to failing kidneys. I look at what was learned from this very sad experience. The dog should get along well with other pets or be alone with you.
Spot, my smooth fox terrier did not like other animals and I will always regret putting my cats before my dog. Spot was hurt by that and loved me unconditionally in spite of it. Know your breed before you decide how many pets and kids you may wind up with or they may suffer. Many pet owners refuse to be in the room while the pet is put down. This is wrong. In the past, I left the room and have always felt bad. I stayed with Spot the entire time and tearfully talked to her while she went to sleep.
Remember to bring a soft blanket and pillow to the vet. Insist the pet be placed on them, not the cold steel table alone. The best way to put any pet down is at home, but to some of us, that is too expensive. Most importantly is that you stay with them all the way to their forever home.
I read about half of these many comments, but nothing like my experience do I see, except, I do feel guilty, but also angry and very sad. I got her into the vet about noon. She was dehydrated and anemic. They said they needed her overnight, though she hates being alone, she was so weak, I felt it best to leave her. Vet called that afternoon, xrays, lungs, bones were okay, no problem. Were there any pills she could have gotten into, or anti-freeze?
No, she was always with one of us, usually me, and all day with me. We needed to check with them Sat, about 10 am, to see how she was progressing, and if she could go home. I slept a few hours Sat am. No one came until we asked for a vet. Her anemia count had gone from 27 on Thurs. My husband wanted to take her home. I was worried about taking her home. I would have to decide what to do. The only other thing they said was that she had a bad bacterial infection. The staff tried to reach someone through the website, to no avail. My husband left for a little bit. While he was out, Lily threw up on the yellow fleece fabric I had cradled her in, but the back of her was on me and my coat, where she peed.
I cried for help, as I was alone with her. Finally a vet came, and soon my husband returned. He left again for a little bit. By the time he returned, the vet had given Lily the sedative. Then she gave Lily the second shot. I sobbed through all of this. I am still having some surreal moments.
Then I started going back over everything…. Was this anaplasmosis, I found online? Was this cancer returning after tumor that was removed two years ago? For the next few days, I sent out various emails, to family, friends, strangers, everyday my mind fixed on something different that caused her to be sick.
If symptoms appeared, chaned diet first, then if more is need, treat with antibiotics and…. Check HMD on the internet. I had been giving her high protein snacks throughout her time with us, and the day before going in, so weak, when she had not eaten all day, I had let her have some of the canned salmon I had cooked for us. She gobbled several pieces. Did I have her euthanized because of symptoms of HMD?
She was gone from us 6 weeks to the day we had brought her home. Most of all, I want her back. I feel like I let her down, and those who cared about her. I feel like someone should have TOLD me about this. Her former foster family answered my email, saying they knew of the HMD diagnosis, but last summer their vet, after bloodwork, had said it was borderline, and did not require a special diet.
Again, I wonder, what was it? I would like to hear from ppl who have had to put a dog down for extreme behavioral issues… when the dog is physically in perfect health, or a dog only a couple years old. How does one get over that guilt of feeling that maybe you gave up too soon. Maybe more training… more behavior mgmt….
Thank you so much, reading this has really helped my grieving. My dog has struggled for years with a health condition and I have come to the challenging decision to put him down. In the end the only peace I can have is knowing I made a decision to protect him from further pain and to keep my promise that I will be there for him till his last day. Thank you so much for this article.
I just put down my 12 year old collie yesterday. I felt so guilty, having given him a bully stick that gave him diarrhea, that I thought aggravated the arthritis in his back. But I will always wonder. But it is true we cannot control everything, even though we try with our dogs. To keep them safe and healthy as long as we can. I will always miss my Levi, he was my heart dog. Though I believe I can feel him with me again, already.
We will be putting our Lilly down today at 6pm for behavior reasons. We got her from the pound 10 years ago. Ever since she has only been attached to people she knows. She lunges and goes insane at strangers or other animals. She has bitten people in our family before. Not in a feirce way, but has bitten. I know if we hadnt rescued her 10 years ago that she probably would have already been put down.
We have tried every training known to man. Years of training, but nothing ever worked. She could never get along with anyone at the trainings and always had to wear a muzzle. We had a baby girl a year ago. She is now crawling and walking. We never keep the dog in the same room as the baby unless we are all together. And we are always on guard and in protect mode when doing so.
A few weeks ago we noticed that from about 6 feet away Lilly was staring right at the baby and showing teeth when the baby was crawling. She will look at the baby from the corner of her eye and then turn her head away. It really really sucks that we are going to have to do this to our old crazy friend, but we cant risk the dog biting our child and the child having a deformity for the rest of her life.
Since she cant defend herself we need to take every precaution in making sure she is safe. We cannot give the dog away since she is condemed an agressive dog in our county. The love of a dog is supernatural amd getting past it is the biggest callenge I have had in my 60 years. The guilt of having not done enough altho we did alot could be tormenting. I went according to my instincts with my dog in her care choices. I believed I did what she wanted. At times, I think I am nuts for believeing I could comunicate with my dog. I had my Shih-tzu until she was She has gone down hill as she aged in the past few years with the last year being the most, of course.
She was still eating and drinking and going to the bathroom, but we put her to rest due to the fact we felt she had no quality of life. When she walked she sort of dragged her legs some. Her fur was falling out in clumps and had bald spots. Almost all her fur on her feet was gone. And that by far was her favorite thing in the entire world to do.
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So, she did not have an obvious cancer or disease that we know of, although the doc said he felt a growth and her heartbeat was irregular. I never even questioned it and did not waver in my decision. It was almost spooky! But the thought was all about the fact she did not seem to enjoy her favorite things anymore, especially people. And it said to do it asap so we did, that afternoon. Now I feel empty and guilty. Reading your stories has been helpful. I guess I wonder if we should have waited. But it seemed she was only existing, to us.
And being deaf and blind and having problems walking it seemed maybe scary for her. Thanks for listening…. She Was Born On August.. I Will Miss U Baby! Thank you for all of the stories which I have been sitting here reading and crying. My family has a ten year old Doberman, Duchess, who has been up and down for a little while now.
She has had thyroid and incontinence problems but while at the vet yesterday was discovered to have a tumor on her diaphragm which is pressing on her lungs as well as her abdominal organs. Also her stomach has partially turned. We know that there is nothing that can be done to cure her but are still having trouble coming to terms with it. My sister and I will be taking her to the vet on Saturday afternoon to be put down. She has been a loving wonderful dog who we have had since she was a puppy. She will be going to the beach that she learned to swim at, providing she is up to it, on Saturday morning and will be spoiled in the next few days.
He was their guardian. No one messed with his kids. I must have hundreds of photos of them all snuggling, kids riding him, pulling on his ears, he loved every moment of it. Then one day he attacked our 13 yr old son. Such a shock. I cried like a baby. It was like paying to have a family member murdered. I still feel intense guilt. Our son is healing very well physically, emotionally, not so much.
He is angry at me for having Loki put down, yet also has a real fear of dogs now. Even small ones. We recently had to euthanize our senior Border Collie, Gwen, after 14 years together. Gwen was my heart dog and the older she and I both got, the closer we became. It was a hard decision to let her go but I still had terrible guilt over waiting t0o long with her brother, Bill. Bill was so stoic and I so unwilling to let him go that he died more painfully than he should have.
This time, my husband and I agreed that a day too early was better than a day too late. We chose our new vet who was very kind with her and gentle and she really liked him. We had been communicating about the hard decision and finally decided on a day to bring her in for the last time.
He had put a blanket on the floor for her and spoke to her and us very gently but when he injected her with the sedative, she screamed and thrashed in pain. I doubled over with shock until she finally relaxed and we were able to hold and stroke her to say goodbye. The poor vet felt terrible but I felt worse. This is something I blame myself for not knowing.
Gwen was my best friend and the thought of the pain I allowed her to have before dying will haunt me forever. Oh Candace, how my heart went out to you when I read your comment. I am so sorry. But not as much, not as much. What are you talking about? YOU are the one who is suffering now, and have been for how long? Your Gwen would want so much for you not to continue to hurt….. All best, sending oxytocin-y thoughts your way. I still love that dog because he has been such a good dog up untill the past few months. I wish their was a medicine or shot something to make him happy and sweet again but i guess that may not be possible.
She would have forgotten the pain immediately, in her sturdy little Border Collie way. Remembering this about her has helped more than any of the saccharine loaded rainbow bridge references that have been coming my way. I guess love has a price and the more we love, the more we pay out in pain at the loss of that love. But the joy of having a wonderful dog to love is like nothing else…. Thank you, again, you said just the right, comforting thing.
Bob, You have my sympathies. I, too was bit by my Diabetes Insipidus is often caused by a brain tumor. He is incontinent at night and would be during the day if I were not available to let him out every 2 hours. Last Sunday morning he had a very disturbed look in his eyes while trying to get up to go out for the first time. He bit me as I moved my hand towards his halter to help him up. I realize I should have just let him be-hindsight is so much better. I ended up having to have surgery to repair my hand. My vet seems to think if we just give him pain medicine he will be safe, but how can you be sure?
I wish you the best with your decision. I think I have decided to put him down, but I go back and forth in my mind. On Feb 4, , at roughly am I received a phone call that would change my life forever. We decided to test him for Lyme, it came back positive so we started the treatment… he continued to get worse and the vet told me to cook a special diet of bland foods to encourage his belly to heal so I did that.
He continued to get smaller he started at 69lbs and was down to 54lbs so I took him back to the vets and we did more blood work. This was Friday, Saturday morning I got up, carried him upstairs to my mothers room, tucked him into bed with her and left for my classes. That was the last time I saw him still thinking I had at least the next ten years with him.
When the call came from my mom I knew just from her voice that it was over. I called the vet who told me that his kidneys and liver were shutting down and that there was little to no hope of turning it around. We talked about the choices and the possible outcomes, because it was Saturday if I wanted to bring him there I would have had to be there by noon it was already 11a at this point.
She got untouched with the pet hospital a few towns over who quoted me in the thousands of dollars for dialisys sorry for spelling I called down there to speak with them myself and she was really nice and answered all my questions. Telling me the likelyhood of him surviving was very low, the treatment would be painful for him and I would have to leave him there alone for at least the weekend. Here I was a 25 year old sobbing uncontrollably driving towards a goodbye I was convinced would kill me. I asked my dad to call his vets to see if they could fit in an appointment to put my Sir atonka to rest.
It was settled I had a appointment. He stayed him my arms for the almost hour we had to wait. When the vet came in I again asked if this was right or if she thought there was a chance he could come out of it. She looked at him and at me and told me I was doing the best possible thing for him that she could serving his eyes that he was in pain and from the levels his kidneys and liver had reached I would almost without a doubt only be prolonging his suffering. At the end she agreeded it was for the best. My loyal best friend was helped to cross over at a little past five pm that same day surrounded by the four people who loved him the most.
I wishpered in his ear the whole time well rubbing his ears. Everyone left the room after and I said my final farewell to the body that held my dogs soul. I still miss him and wonder if I could have saved him. The guilt is at times crippling. I believe he is still here with me.
Wow, this really hits home. We just made the difficult choice to euthanize our 26 month old male terrier ABD-Boxer-pit something or other mix after 2 straight years of treatment for food, environmental and staph allergies. Piling in cortisone shots to reduce his inflammation after giving up on food trials was tough, especially when they seemed to lose efficacy faster each time.
But when he lunged at a three year old twice in one day, our minds had to be made. Two weeks later, it was done and i still cant remove the vision of his dying face from my brain. When we would go out of town for family business, as vacation funds went to vet bills we always came back to a dog who looked sicker than when we left. We made the decision to do this and it was so hard, but when you are between a rock and a hard place, nothing is easy.
We euthanized our wonderful, year old black Lab two months ago. My husband is hurting, too, and feels bitter because he kept her in excellent shape and thought she still had some good years left. In mid-July she was a seemingly healthy dog, hiking and swimming, enjoying life. Then a nasal blockage turned out to be a mast cell tumor in her nasopharynx area. We took her home, hoping she would heal, with a feeding tube in place. I knew in my heart something else was at work. Finally, neurological tests at the hospital revealed that she had a tumor or tumors in her brain.
Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot. We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not. If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock or some joker who is slicker is going to trick you of your liquor if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock. Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie? Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers Such skill as sewing shirts Our shy young sister Suzie shows Some soldiers send epistles Say they'd rather sleep in thistles Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.
When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor? What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.
Don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you! If you trouble trouble, triple trouble troubles you! Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter. Admidst the mists and coldest frosts, With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, He thrusts his fists against the posts, And still insists he sees the ghosts. Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.
A flea and a fly in a flue, were imprisoned. So what could they do? Said the fly, "Let us flee". Said the flea, "Let us fly". So they flew through a flaw in the flue. King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb. A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb. If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb, How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb? The bottle of perfume that Willy sent was highly displeasing to Millicent.
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Her thanks were so cold that they quarreled, I'm told o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent. Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood. A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
I am not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's mate. I am only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late. Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not? If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! You can't say this? What a shame, sir! We'll find you another game, sir. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
Ray Rag ran across a rough road. Across a rough road Ray Rag ran. Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across? A Tudor who tooted the flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot? Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood. Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought Wasn't the thought I thought I thought. She sells sea shells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure. The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we sought to stay; The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we'd stay all day.
The Leith police dismisseth us, We both sighed sighs apiece; And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye Were the size of the Leith police. Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo, a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail. How much dough would Bob Dole dole if Bob Dole could dole dough? To begin to toboggan, first buy a toboggan. But don't buy too big a toboggan. Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan. Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter, seized his knees and sneezed.
Chester chooses chestnuts, cheddar cheese with chewy chives. He chews them and he chooses them. He chooses them and he chews them Those chestnuts, cheddar cheese and chives in cheery, charming chunks. Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously. Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses As Moses supposes his toeses to be. Three Tree Turtles Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters. If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters, where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?
My Friend Gladys Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad. Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad. But the sadness of her sadness, and the gladness of her gladness, Are nothing like her madness when she's mad! I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I? You couldn't, unless you could, could you? Give me the gift of a grip-top sock, A clip drape shipshape tip top sock. Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock, But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap slop From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.
Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock, Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block. Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop Tip me to a tip top grip top sock. If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er? How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans. Federal Express is now called FedEx.
When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex. Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex. When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex. Customer: Do you have soothers? Shopkeeper thinking he had said "scissors" : No, we don't have scissors. Customer: Soothers! Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers. I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why. Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.
I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines.
Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds from Coronet Magazine, August Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie? I'm a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants. I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker, to ever pluck a mother pheasant. I'm Not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son.
But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants Till the pheasant plucking 's done! Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads. The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers are the Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers. Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 's.
The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in , and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records. A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back. Imagine, imagining imagining, an imaginary imaginary imaginary menagerie manager, imagining imagining imagining an imaginary imaginary imaginary managerie.
What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Any noise annoys a noisy oyster, but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most! We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan. How many snacks could a snack stacker stack, if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks? Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west? On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before. We stand behind before we find what those behind be for. Three grey geese In a green field grazing, Grey were the geese And green was the grazing.
They hatch fish at the state fish hatchery and sell hatched fish to the fish stick factory. Kantai can tie a tie. If Kantai can tie a tie, why can't I tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie. Tricky Tristan tracked a trail of tiny turtles. How many tiny turtles did Tricky Tristan track? Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny turtles; that's how many tiny turtles tricky Tristan tracked. Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood. If Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood, where is the wood saw witch would saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood.
Giddy kiddy goat, Giddy kiddy goat, Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, kiddy goat. If a Hottentot tot taught a Hottentot tot to talk before the tot would totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought, or naught, or what ought to be taught the Hottentot tot? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoots and toots at the Hottentot tutor?
There was a writer called Wright, he taught his son to write Wright right: "It's not right to write Wright 'Rite', please try to write Wright right! A wooden worm wouldn't be worthy of worship but would he if he wondered and worried about what he would be worthy of if he wasn't wooden? Farrell's features fabulous food 'n' fantastic fountain fantasies for frolicking, fun-filled festive families.
The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found him-self a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.
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