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weekend free-for-all – September 8-9, 2018

Do you know if nexaplanon can cause similar issues though? I had Implanon for ages and loved it; irregular to begin with but settled down into no symptoms, a mild regular period, five years of not thinking about it. Replaced it three times. However I had friends who tried it and hated it. They discontinued Implanon and replaced it with Nexplanon. It was godawful for me. Yet I had friends who swore by it.

My first month had an extended period, but the second and beyond had a nice, scheduled six day pattern. I didnt go to my doctor at the time about it because I was sure it was because I started taking the pills while on my period, or because it was my first month. I have a copper IUD. Sometimes need a heat pad ad well but usually not. My mother and sister rave abut the coil and have been using them after all other methods failed; its been going happily for them for a number of years. When I mention this to people they repeat all the old horror stories about the old-style IUDs but it bears absolutely no relation to that anymore.

For peace of mind with condoms — fill with water after your done cuddling and glowing with each other. If it drips you know you need planB. Hubby and I used this for 5 years no issues. Plus the pill is clearly wrecking your body. All these hormonal based pills are worse for the environment than rubbers. So, I have an update on the drama I posted about last week. Now, I have a better grasp on the situation. Mr A put it down to a personality clash, but, yesterday, finally told BF what it was. I study biology, and, about a year ago when we had dinner together, I talked about one of the modules I was taking, and this was related to a personal trauma they were going through at a the time.

I was definitely in the wrong for that. Unfortunately, what prompted Mr A to confess was a post of mine on another site where he has apparently been stalking me for about four months. Short version is, the whole issue triggered some of the PTSD from growing up with an abusive mother, who told me no one would ever love me or want me around.

The As thought that I knew Mr A was reading, and that I did know what the problem was, so therefore my post is lying and being manipulative. BF pointed out the holes in that theory to Mr A, but I have, unbeknown to either of us, been in full BEC territory with Mrs A for the best part of a year, and the fact that I exist is now a source of annoyance to her. I would still like to apologise, but, as I said, the fact that I exist is now a source of pain for them, so probably best not to remind them unnecessarily.

BF has decided not to go to the dinner tomorrow and let the dust settle instead. There are so many politics and triggered traumas involved that I think him managing this friendship entirely on his own is the best option. I have a hard time imagining a topic that comes up in regular biology classes that is so traumatic for A that she would never ever speak to you again.

Again, I genuinely had no idea, but it is something I should have been more sensitive to. BF has just reminded me, I was talking about clonal experiments, for instance, splitting frog embryos with hairs and sticking albino embryos to those with normal colouring to show that the growth continued as normal. Without having any experience with either pregnacies and miscarriages, this subject would squick me. And I am in the health service and used to talking about feces over the finner table and would find the subject of decomposing bodies interesting and likewise willing to discuss that while eating.

To be clear — you were talking about experimenting on human embryos? Or just animal ones? I was describing historical experiments on frog embryos. As species get closer to humans there are, rightfully, more and more restrictions on the experiments that can be done, balancing the usefulness of the experiments for techniques to improve the health of humans vs the ethical restrictions. As I said, based on what might have been discussed, I was out of line. Definitely something to be aware of in future though. Experimenting on frogs is no worse than eating meat after all!

FYI in other countries that are not so strict there are plenty of experiments being done on human embryos. Some human-animal chimeras have even been produced. You had no way of knowing that they had a personal trauma. I also think not all people who had gone through their personal trauma would have had a problem talking about animal embryos and cloning experiments. Your topic is an interesting topic to a lot of people. If no one asked you to change the subject or expressed discomfort with the topic, how could you have known?

Maybe this is a general personality clash, but they sound narcissistic to me in the common sense of the word—not Internet diagnosing them! Ann O. Another option would be to create a stem cell, either by converting the persons own skin cells into stem cells or by using a human embryonic stem cell, and inserting that in the correct location, with the instructions to grow into the right kind of organs. Highly controversial research that has to be handled delicately. Anyone who manages is likely to be a shoo-in for the Nobel.

If you are truly pro-choice then all that you would care about is the opinion of the pregnant woman on the matter of whether her embryo was a person or not, not your own opinion. I might consider you somewhat insensitive if I knew that you knew, but if not, I guess for me, the more biology advances, the more chances we have to produce healthy babies? I think A is soooooo over-reacting. Here is a person who basically believes that you must mind read what her upsets are and diligently avoid those topics.

If it had not been a blow up over this, then it would have been another blow up over something else later. That said, very seldom have I seen a medical conversation at meal time go well. Whatever the medical topic is someone gets upset, that seems to happen more often than not. I have a pretty strong stomach. I think of myself as fairly resilient with these things. The topic went on and on, we got down in the weeds and went over minute by minute how this is done.

About 20 minutes into it, I had to stop eating. Later the group did agree no extensive medical talk at the table. Had this not happened to me personally, I probably would have been much less aware of the impact of these conversations for some folks. In very general terms everybody did the same thing. They touched a subject or action that upset each other. To be honest, I would not trust her to be my friend, if were me. That opportunity would be over.

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I would always be walking on eggshells wondering when the next bombshell news item would drop and how much crap did I step in now. And if I am being fair, I have done something similar myself. You need to get over it and go get another man. I just did not want to deal. And I suspect you may not want to deal even if a friendship was offered at this point. She can be an acquaintance and retain that status in your life. I do think that it is good that you understand what is going on with you and how this dragged stuff out of your past. Okay… you are not a horrible person!!! I cannot put enough exclamation points on that.

Yes, miscarriage is sad. Yes, some people take it harder, or at least have a harder time mentally separating their loss from other things in life. No, life does not stop while they grieve. I agree. OP sounds like an awesome and interesting person and I would love to hear her stories, especially since I have a rather boring job.

I am not a scientist, but I used to work in Big Pharma creating workspaces and labs, and I currently work in healthcare doing the same. Totally agree with this. Or it could be that she decided not to like you from the start and just keep looking around for reasons to validate her decision. Sometimes stuff goes this way. I find the details of this stuff to be a strange combo of gross and boring to listen to. Not that I would tell you that if the topic came up at a dinner party!

But everyone has different interests. But probably means you need to focus more on being aware of others in social situations — trying to listen more than you talk especially in a group! I just generally hang out with other scientists, and I was being a lot more tongue-in-cheek in that last comment than I guess came across in writing. For additional context, I do remember Mr A graphically describing his bowel movements at that dinner, as an attempt to get a reaction from me.

Just… what?! There are a lot of posts here telling you that you did nothing wrong because you could not have known Mrs. What you did wrong started a long time before the incident you described. That was just the last straw for a couple that finds you to be self-absorbed. Again, you are not a terrible person an all is not lost.

When I met my husband about 18 years ago, he had spent way too much time reading SciFi and not enough time talking to people. Lucky for me I met him at a time when he had intentionally set out to be more comfortable around people and develop social skills because the lack of them was seriously impacting his life. My husband today would hardly recognize that guy from 18 years ago and he still likes SciFi! You can do this — you really can. But first you need to own your level self-involvement. I would like you to stop. Lots of people do think that if you talk about your work assuming everyone else is as interested as you are, that you are self-absorbed.

And lots of people do think that posting personal info online publicly and non-anonymously is very attention-seeking and self-absorbed. But I definitely know a good few people who would consider both those actions to be really self-absorbed and attention seeking. Life would be very boring if everyone liked each other! Remember that this is my real life! Me, me, me!!!!! I wat to sit next to you at a dinner party.

Bibliovore coaches me before we go out. Its that reading the room thing for me too. On the other hand, this does give me an opportunity just to sit back and listen to Mr. I may be reading into this based on personal experience, but I also jumped to infertility and particularly miscarriage. I hope so! That or some kind of cancer, or a chronic disease. A sounds creepy, BTW, following you online like that. OP, I actually find the topic interesting myself, but I think that bridge is well and truly burned. Also, Mr A seems to be under the impression that OP knew he followed her, especially since he thinks she wrote he post aimed at him.

I do find it a bit disquieting when I remember all the things that Mr A now knows about me. That said, he probably has a totally different idea about what the internet is for — people do. I think the fact that he was following you on a website and assumed you knew about it, and is making judgements about you from things you posted that you had no clue he was following bizarre.

Like, yes, we do post things knowing other people will read them, but he was internet stalking you and not giving you the chance to do the same thing by letting you know what his username was, and then expected that you knew. How on earth were you supposed to know who he was? I thought the guy was following her anonymous blog anonymously, but he knew it was her blog, if that makes sense. Of course sorry for Mrs.

Sorry, but equating frog embryos with your miscarriage is BS. Even if it happened, why would doctors tell you that? I have zero idea what happened to my embryo after my abortion. Also, she expected OP to magically know that the topic of animal embryos is somewhat painful to her. A currette is a sharp instrument. I thought that was common knowledge. Did you think they took it out in one piece or something?

Of course, depending on the age and size of the embryo it might come out in a single piece. She may also have passed the baby naturally and actually seen her embryo — with my last miscarriage I was 8 and a half weeks and I could see the upper half of baby through the sac and see her head and eye. I was literally holding my embryo in my hand crying over the loss of my much hoped for child. If someone had started telling me about testing on embryos very shortly after that I would have been very uncomfortable. It sounds like OP went into some detail with the description of splitting up albino embryos and splicing them with Non-albinos.

Grieving a miscarriage is a complicated thing. When people are going through such an emotionally difficult time they often conflate emotions. Many people think not noticing these non-verbal signals is itself rude. Personally I am awful at reading non-verbal queues so I would not consider someone rude for that.

But she clearly is of the other mindset. In her head it was probably obvious from her body language that she wanted you to stop, but you continued regardless. So she really thinks you were being rude that night. The grief is feeding the anger and vice versa.

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Of course this may not be the case but it would explain their over-the-too anger towards you. However in my experience she may not fully get over the miscarriage itself until she either has living children or many years have passed. But she needs to focus on getting over the loss of her babies right now and if they are having infertility issues then they need to deal with all that too which is completely overwhelming.

I had no idea. Totally agree with everything here. And on the question of social skills, in all your protests that you indeed have them, you prove more and more that you are not terribly socially skilled. For example, Overeducated described above that how it would feel awkward and socially unacceptable if Mr. A continue to invite your partner — and the partners of other friends — but not you to social events. Frankly that makes them correct in their assessment. Your explanation of the situation seems to be like you are trying to be as fair and balanced as possible.

I think you are right not to reach out. These people are very likely to never give you the benefit of the doubt. Good luck navigating this. Thanks for saying that. I think she is engaging in that introspection here and now by seeking out all of our perspectives on it and taking other views seriously, and I think that is admirable.

What I disagree with is the very specific interpretation that this one event means I must have trouble being social in multiple fields, particularly the insistence of one person on trying to force me to agree with it, and insisting that my refusal to agree is further proof of my poor social skills. I can see how a third party could use this story to illustrate that someone [me] was generally social awkward, if this story were an example of a common occurrence in my life. Not that you go around offending people, but that you geek out over science in social situations with people who are not interested.

What prompted me to post here at first was your supposition that this couple already did not like you by the time the embryo episode took place. The picture you have painted of yourself is of someone who gets into the weeds when she talks about her scientific work, studies or interests and as I said, THAT is probably why this couple did not like you before that night. But if you are unwilling to even entertain that it might be a problem in other social settings in general — not just the embryo episode, but before that then yes — that shows an unwillingness to be introspective that some here are pointing to.

If the night in question was the first time you geeked out about some science you were excited about to people who could not have cared less, then OK — I am wrong. Only you know for sure. Lastly to reiterate, I think the As have behaved poorly as well. They engaged in some pretty juvenile behavior. Ultimately you can only control your actions and your responses from here out.

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Common interests help you make friends. Also, people prone to dominating these conversation do it no matter the topic, so this is irrelevant. You are factually incorrect and inaccurate in your assumptions based on a single post of my life. I am confident in saying that based on actually living my life, having met the people involved, and on multiple interactions which you were not privy to.

Why do you consider geeking out about science such a terrible social faux pas? Some of us like it. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for. That happens. Frankly, they both sound weird, unpleasant and exhausting! And they BOTH think you should read minds! A make them sound like shunning you is actually doing you a favor. First, you were rude and they were matchmaking for your BF.

Now, you were deliberately hurtful, in a particularly sharp way, like a soap villain. It sounds like you have the right idea to just step back and let BF handle this all on their own! As tempting as it can be to explain yourself, or apologize, or just generally correct some incorrect assumptions, it sounds like Mrs. A at least is just in BEC mode towards you right now. The only thing that might solve that is time. Can you block Mr. A on whatever social media he was following you on, without it being a Big Thing?

I could just start a new account, or compromise by continuing to use my main account but using a throwaway for anything personal. Debating options atm. That is expecting entirely too much magic knowledge. Letting BF manage this friendship on his own is a very, very good call on your part. Yes, at least from what I have read so far, they are behaving quite badly. It sounds like you are trying to encourage your partner not to blow up his relationship with thenm, but honestly, I would let him take the lead on this.

And if he wants to tell them they have behaved poorly, that is his choice to make. You do know faeces and embryos are different things right? And embryos have nothing whatsoever to do with bowels. Except that they develop their own bowels between 8 and 10 weeks. A was discussing his BMs for reasons probably best known to him.

Yup, I very distinctly remember that part of the conversation. I do wonder if my own part of the conversation was an attempt to show that I was comfortable with biology, while deflecting to something I found less squicky, without considering the fact that they might have reasons to find it more uncomfortable than the initial topic. I try to remember that anything I post on the Internet may be seen by my best friend, my most distant relative, and my worst enemy.

Even if it is unlikely it could still happen. My sympathies are with you though; I recently wrote a single sentence in the middle of a Facebook status intended mostly as self-reflection that unintentionally could be interpreted as a criticism of another person. Two of her friends took it upon themselves to tell me how Hurt she was and that criticizing people like that was Not Okay. I ended up apologizing for unintentionally hurting her and editing the post to make it clear that it was not me being a meanie-pants.

And, more to the point, I think both of them had really frayed nerves because of their stress and then — yeah — you just unknowingly stepped on the landmine. But on the other hand, I can get why she just wants to have nothing to do with you at all after that, and that she was really secretive about why. This also reminded me of what I was going through last week, which was…kind of similar, actually. Learn from this, but also — be kind to yourself. This is easier said than done.

Also testing on embryos is a very sensitive topic in general and people hold very strong beliefs about it. Testing on animal embryos will inevitably lead to testing on human embryos and already happens in countries with less stringent rules. We already have the technology to develop half-human, half-chimps. It could be done in as little as 10 years if you threw enough money at it.

Statistically it is waaaay more likely that you would have a miscarriage before 10 weeks than between 10 and 24 weeks. This article gives a good overview of the different research that is happening and the ethical considerations. Roughly speaking Chimps and humans are about as genetically similar as humans and sheep.

Another experiment of interest is where they injected embryonic human stem cells produced by destroying living human embryos — which is a very sensitive topic into embryonic mouse brains. They grew a mouse embryo with a partly human brain and the human cells formed human structures within the mouse brain. Most people would be really freaked out by finding out that this has already happened. And I do feel that growing an animal with a part-human brain is extremely unethical and I wonder if it had a human or a part-human consciousness.

How did it experience the world? Who can tell. Toxic masculinity definitely plays a role there, as he would never admit to being traumatised. They sound rather self centered and dramatic. I remember how heart breaking it was when the man I loved was using me for sex and seeing any wedding on Facebook made the wound fresh and real. My sadness was my own to deal with. A on here is because it seems like Ms. It seemed like he was less hostile to you from your first post. Just that of course you know about his following you on your professional posts because you know everyone who reads everything you write on the internet.

But also , grief is weird and twisted, and I get the sense that their animosity is a part of that. In a weird way, I think it gets more complicated when we try to explain the hurt and label it. Labeling your emotions is a way of regulating them and it has been shown to help. The problem now seems to be mostly your boyfriends problem. What kind of relationship can he have long-term with people who want to pretend his girlfriend does not exist? What does he tell mutual friends about why you are not there? Do you not have different friends from your partner?

For the ladies with babies out there, is there anything that you know now that you wish you knew then? Just prepare yourself- it could be a quick process, or it could take a year or more. Depending on your age, consider reaching out to your obgyn if it takes awhile. I was 39 when I got pregnant. It took less than three months.

Good to know there was a point to being on the pill all those years :P. I was Two months. We were prepared to spend months rolling the dice. Two cycles later…ooof. I was not prepared! That would be my only comment. Be prepared for it to take a lot longer. But also be prepared for it to be a lot shorter. Both are a head trip. In different ways. But it was a bit of a surprise both times, though I made sure not to mention it around my SIL, who went through various miscarriages etc.

Just have sex about every 3 days — so the sperm has time to grow healthy and you always have living sperm inside waiting for the egg to appear. Might as well start on the folic acid now, too. And good luck! May the timing be exactly what you want. Oh definitely be on folic acid! Everyone who had even the slightest chance of getting pregnant should take folic acid every day, just in case. You need to be on it for at least 3 months before conceiving for it to work fully. If you want to be super geeky check out folic acid vs methylfolate. Enjoy the trip and good luck! I know, I remember my first pregnancy—I was at my due date, and we went through a tornado warning and spent much of an evening in the closet hoping for the best.

Waah…but I have probably made up for it by now. Example: Your belly button will flip inside out, like the done button on a turkey. Enjoy anything that requires free time or energy now. Tongue-in-cheek advice for dads that actually had a lot of logic at its core was to gradually switch to watching everything on Netflix, as you will not have these stretches of uninterrupted time to watch regular TV or go to movies.

I also recall that we were taking a really fun ballroom dance class, and stopped because it involved being upright after 6 pm and that was a no-go for me. I tried to explain it to my husband but the man literally does not get jetlag, so I was out of luck! The exhaustion of the first trimester is unreal. In the first trimester you are creating the placenta which is fully grown by the end of the first trimester.

The placenta has 4 pints of your blood in it! When you think of it this way — that you are producing an extra pint of blood every two weeks — the tiredness makes a lot more sense. Eat lots of iron-rich foods and take iron tablets and vitamin c most Pre-natal tablets have both in them.

The good news is that the placenta is all done by the start of the second trimester, so the second trimester is nowhere near as tiring as the first! Find out when you ovulate! Definitely a difference if you ovulate on Day 7 versus Day I got a kit from Target and had clearest results with name brand vs store brand. Have fun! Just have sex every day, lol, at least once a day. And daily sex can negatively affect sperm count. Strengthen your back, it will have a lot of work to do. Get super organised at work and home because the first trimester tiredness is an absolute killer.

The organisation will be good for before and after your maternity leave too. The evidence on caffeine is mixed and you can safely have coffee through pregnancy in moderate amounts. I like Expecting Better as the pregnancy book that dispells myths and gives you facts. I did a lot of research on this and even tiny amounts of caffeine does increase the risk of mc — but only by tiny amounts. Above mg of caffeine a day the risk increases quickly, so most docs recommend keeping it to mg.

A cup of instant coffee is mg, a ml can of red bull is 90mg, a cup of tea is about 10mg, and a chocolate bar is about mg depending on the chocolate. One cup of reasonable coffee a day is fine. So are saunas, though maybe not hot tubs. Most of this decision-making actually relies on, if something random and not your fault goes wrong, will you blame yourself or fate?

This is not most peoples' personality apparently. Drink the wine, eat the sushi, dye your hair, eat raw oysters, make plans. I started trying to get pregnant at 26 and it took almost 2 years, but then I have a coworker who started trying at 35 and got pregnant first month. Also, depending on your age and some might disagree you may have to fight to be heard if you are having trouble getting pregnant.

Because I was so young when we started, it took 4 obgyns before someone actually stopped and listened to the symptoms I was having. Start taking a prenatal vitamin with folic acid now. A lot of fertilized eggs fail to implant. Start taking folic acid, start temping and tracking your cycle and stop any drinking or smoking. I recommend you the Natural Cycles app. It was recently approved by the FDA for contraception but it can be used while trying to get pregnant.

It does all the calculation work for you, you just need to get good about measuring your temperature. Good luck. It helped me learn a lot about my body and enabled me to collect data that was useful to my doctor when it became clear that I might need a little help getting pregnant. I think the most recent edition is from Went to the Candide operetta Leonard Bernstein with some friends last night. Late night, but really good — such good music and acting! And funny, in a really dark way; Voltaire is a perfect misanthrope.

Those notes are insane, and I think it would be even better in person! I love the music, and have played in the pit for several productions of Candide before actually viewing it as a member of the audience different production, several years later. I saw Candide when I was far too young for it to be appropriate — my parents are fans of Bernstein, it was a symphony end of year field trip, what could possibly go wrong?!

That was probably the afternoon I really fell in love with theater. Shared What a Day for an Auto de Fe with my spouse a few weeks ago. He was all ::eyeballs:: over it. Is anyone else prone to getting sucked into weather hype? So inevitably, I expect this week to be difficult. So no heat source, nothing refrigerated. My biggest annoyance in a more minor storm is losing power and being bored with all our junky snacks after a day.

I get information overload with weather reports and just note whether rain is forecast or not. Maybe energy balls for snacks? Sorry you power is out. Back in , I was paying close attention to hurricane tracking and blog posts, and carefully not refreshing when the bad ones got close to land, to not overload the servers for people on the Gulf Coast who needed the information in real time.

I think it is a lot of hype. There are too many times where the level of PR does not match the severity of the storm. I did notice when a bad storm is predicted that the store shelves empty out quickly. I have often wondered if there is something nefarious there as in using storm hype to increases retail sales. They make soups now that you can drink right out of the container, no heating.

They are a little spendy but gosh they have good flavor. I picked up some to keep in the drawer at work, for when the munchies hit and I cannot leave to get something. I hate that gas prices also jump. Very annoying!! If you want to feed the obsession, I like the blog on Weather Underground.

They sell shelf-stable milks of various kinds which could make a bowl of cereal more palatable! Can you get a little chafing dish that runs on sterno like at a thrift shop? Ignore if you have pets or small children! Food, glorious food! Pepperoni, canned chicken, and tuna all pair nicely with hearty crackers or a loaf of French bread and only have to be refrigerated after opening so eat up quick! IMO a block of cheddar cheese is not super risky to eat even if it has technically been above 40 degrees.

Clif Protein bars are delicious! Hot chocolate packets and juice boxes taste sweet even at room temp. If you have enough warning to prep some ice in a cooler then at least for the first couple of days you can have regular milk, Ranch, mayo, hardboiled eggs, lunchmeat, and cream cheese available too.

Canned beans that you can have as salads — chickpeas etc. Canned oysters are a great snack too. Thanks to both Bethany and Alice. I need to perfect a bean salad for sure. I dont eat meat or fish, so the glorious tuna option is out, alas. I really am thrilled with the milk powder idea though, is it sold at most grocery stores?

Sadly, we are already in hype mode here despite not really being in the current direct line of Florence, so it may be gone if others have the same idea. My family had a well, so when the power went out we also lost water. My advice is to make sure you have plenty of water on hand, and a weather radio you can charge your phone using your car if you need to, but a weather radio will work without WiFi.

Stock up on Gatorade, peanut butter, crackers, spam, apples, protein bars, canned tuna, cereal, instant soup or noodles, and canned milk. I also strongly suggest getting a generator and gas to run it. At the very least, you can keep your refrigerator running during a power outage. I am in south SC so hurricanes will be a thing, pretty much forever for us! We have a full generator on our wedding registry :P. It was our best purchase of the year.

Luckily my fiance is a native and we are well prepped with water and food. Make sure you have jugs of water for when power is out. Canned or dried foods are great to store for emergency meals. Jerky to munch on, canned ham mixed with beans, canned soup with crackers. Applesauce and canned fruit are nice too. We hear a lot about when to stop therapy. Has this happened to you? I have had two trainee therapists, and advanced PhD student and a postdoc, and eventually their rotations ended.

For most issues, the therapist knows this ahead of time and will start preparing you for it. If you are ready, or might be, they should be checking in with you to prepare you for post-therapy and making sure that is still what you want. In the other, she helped me transfer care to someone else in that practice. Both worked out quite well. Do you mean from the therapist end or from the patient?

I think I mean more emotionally. I have been working with my therapist for over 10 years now and she might retire in the near future. I am having lots and LOTS of feelings about that. We do talk about them, but I wanted to know how others managed, got through it. Well, when I had been in counseling for several years, I had definitely made significant progress in dealing with a variety of issues and kind of reached a plateau.

He used a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy CBT techniques and they seemed to help me. Over time it seemed my most pressing issues had been resolved, and although it was nice to talk with the counselor, there was no longer any sense of urgency to our conversations. We agreed to have several more sessions and set a date for the final session. Later on, like a good ten years or so, I found myself having some problems dealing with stress and anxiety at work and school which were different issues than what I dealt with when I saw the counselor.

In retrospect, I do wish that I had found a counselor to talk about those subsequent issues that came up. Few people ever have the chance to manage the end of such an intimate relationship. It can also be really powerful for clients that struggle with abandonment, neglect, etc. If you are feeling abandoned, you can talk it out with a therapist in a way that it would rarely be safe to do in another relationship. You can get angry, and sad, and process through it.

For a lot of clients it can be really empowering as well. What do you want to continue to work on? I think it can be helpful to think that through. I could probably talk about this for hours. Good luck! Enjoy the rest of the time you have together. What happens when you feel that way? Who will you be working with moving forward?

How would you like to build that rapport with someone new? I am a big woman I hate the term plus size. I also found it difficult. I tried bbw dating sites, but like you it only attracted fetishists so I gave up. Many men found me attractive. It seems that the problem is partly cultural. Like waiting for the sun, I attend social events where I meet many people but the purpose is more to make friends.

Try meetup. Do you feel happy with yourself? Self acceptance is important. I practice mindfulness. It helps me to be happy being myself, with this body. I find that men admire me to a point and my confidence but then descend into fetish territory — no matter where I managed to find them! I was not when I met my lobster, but both of us are now going portly as we grow into being old lobsters together. A friend of mine once said European guys like bigger curvy gals.

When I lived in Los Angeles even the most dumpy guys thought they deserved a model and boy, that was some tough town even being a normal size! You have my sympathies in trying to meet and date anyone nowadays though! I have some younger friends and it just seems to be getting harder all around to date. I have lived in Europe all my life.

France, Italy and now the UK. I actually met DH in seminary. I asked him out on our first date. Dinner and tickets to a musical. When I was in the throes of wedding planning, I started yet another useless diet program. DH asked me what that was about, I gave him the standard answer about fitting in the wedding dress. Best wishes to you!!! As in life, I do think honesty is important, so I think showing prospective dates an accurate representation of you personality and s body type is important. Mostly to avoid going on disappointing dates. I went in a date with a guy who must have used old photos of himself in his profile.

When I got to the restaurant, I could barely recognize him! I was not pleased. So I think having at least one photo showing your whole body is important. My full body photo is of me in a puffy jacket, but it gives men an idea of my body type not model thin. Favorite words? Cracks my kids up. A friend likes pronouncing on December 29 that it is the antepenultimate day of the year. Palimpsest: a manuscript page where the ink was scraped off so that it could be re-used, but where the initial writing or multiple layers of writing might still be made out.

There are actually some rather thrilling historical discoveries based on analysis of such things — not to mention its value in mystery stories! I just wish it sounded more modern. I also love defenestrate. I have a whole list of words I love! Epistolary, callipygian, amanuensis, mere, mercurial… I have well over on my list englishteacherlife.

Sir Thomas Browne regarded the quincunx and its occurrence in nature and art as proof of the wisdom of God. I suspect I still might not forty years later. I THINK — and given that the whole thing is packed with hermetic and mystical symbolism about which I had no clue whatsoever, he was arguing for intelligent design. But like I said, it went way over my head. Words are fun :. Meander is one of my favorite words I can use at work some creative cussing sequences are my actual favorite, reserved for gaming however. I also generally like words that sound like sound effects or just a one word fitting description if the definition.

Even better if it makes people look up the word to be sure of the meaning again, bridge dweller. I also enjoy very specialized vocabulary—bookbinding has some good ones, like folio, deckle, quire, etc. I am just so delighted that there is a word for that very specific thing, and one I only recently learned. Though I feel like there are more subtleties perhaps than a single word can encompass—like, rain on hot asphalt and rain on dry grass are not the same smell, and what is that distinct aroma of fresh corn that you sometimes-but-not-always get when it rains in the city?

I love the way it sounds, and I love what it describes as well. I love all the words where we have an un- or a mis- version still in use, but the root or positive counterpart has died out. I think the linguistic term is unpaired negatives. I also love contronyms, like weather to withstand or to wear away or cleave to stick together or cut apart — these are actually different words that came to be spelled the same way.

As in a byzantine process for achieving something, implying obfuscating mystery and bureaucracy. It sounds funny. I just love how they sound, and also the way my mouth feels when I say them! There was a comment thread here a few months ago about how to muster the energy to write after work when you feel exhausted, and one of the comments was life-changing! It was so simple, and yet something I had never thought of before: pick up a pen and notebook instead of trying to stare at a screen.

I set a low goal of just one page a day, but the results have added up over time! I always write in a notebook. Maybe just snap a picture of each page tobsave effort? Yep — been doing first drafts on paper ever since I rediscovered fountain pens used them in elementary school because Europe, stopped in secondary school middle and high school combined, basically and now rediscovered them. Write on! Lots of fun music-related threads in the past few weeks. I have one more: What songs do you think would work great for commercials?

The exposure probably helps more obscure artists who could use the exposure. I was so taken by the unfamiliar song that I googled it. That would have funny. I love music threads and hope they become a free-for-all tradition. You, you! Leggo my Eggo! I thought of another. I have found some stubborn stains — they are tiny and not easy to see when you step back, but I know they are there and would like to remove them without scratching. In the case of the dishwasher, its definitely stuck on remnants of a drip that feel raised.

On the fridge, its more of a discoloration. Our stainless steel sink came with a shiny finish and a rack that sits in the bottom to presumably hinder scratching. In the old days I would have used steel wool pads, but this is not one of those sinks that comes with kind of a hazed finish — it is a newer more sleek design. It comes in either liquid or powder. Both are good, but honestly, I haaaate the smell of the liquid I think they both smell like urine, but the liquid is stronger to me. I put up with the smell because the stuff is awesome.

Either that or Bon Ami, which is the same thing. Also very good for shower doors and floors. I believe Soft Scrub works for this as well. For the appliances… I love the look of stainless steel but I hate the fingerprints. I wipe down with vinegar mostly I use vinegar as an all-purpose cleaner , but every once in a while I put some olive oil on a soft cloth and rub with the grain. Makes things shiny and less prone to stains. I actually have Barkeepers Friend! I have used it on old enamel sinks and tubs, but I was afraid to use it since it has all those warnings on the label.

It was originally for rinsing dishes in the dishwasher. I mentioned stains in the porcelain sink from the water to a friend, and she told me about it. The dish rack, which I was despairing of cleaning, sat in the sink too, and a light scrubbing afterwards got all the gunk off. And yes, I get those stains from the bottom of it too! Imperative — you MUST dissolve the crystals as if you just pour some on the sink and start to scrub, they will scratch. Oh I should mention, when I spray it on, I leave it there for a while before I scrub it. And if I fill the sink, again, leave it there for a while.

Soak other water stained items while you wait! I will try this for sure — is it available in the major grocery chains? If you mention 50 Shades of Grey to folks in the community, they tend to roll their eyes. The only thing you have to be is accepting. And yes, sex does happen there. A lot. As Gelsomino said, most people feel something deviant.

I always suggest people attend a munch to learn more. Munches are focused on chatting, getting to know people and learning in a relaxed environment. If Munch got you intrigued to learn more, happy hours and Sloshes follow. R, a petite brunette in a latex catsuit, and an older gentleman named Pete completed the group that evening.

Looking more like a someyear-old humanities professor than a kinkster, Pete started his tale. I still watch a lot. To watch people enjoy their whole selves is absolutely remarkable. You just have to convince them that you are worthy of the kink wedding of your dreams. The internet has also done a lot to connect, and in some way, destigmatize, the kink and fetish community. It has its own social networking site, FetLife. Launched in it has since racked up over seven million members, from all around the world including six people in Antarctica, which is either bullshit or an incredibly hopping research station.

You just set up your profile, upload your picture, pick your interests and you are off and running. There are. Not be a circle jerk. Safety in our community is always our top priority. R, who is about to get suspended by Russ for our photo shoot, is fine with just being suspended for now, but might want to branch out in the future.

Phoenix, the event organizer, designs the event to appeal to both the utter novice and the absolute pros. You have friends who are excited with you and want to tell you more about their things. You are okay, you are seen, and you are loved. As I was getting ready to leave the Body Shop, Pete, the gray haired professor-type, pulled me aside.

She had very obvious OCD issues, she had to be so far apart from the garbage cans, she was touching the wall so many times… and she was embraced. And I thought to myself, this is what church is supposed to be like. This is my church. Here, we all belong. To look at the masterfully vague lyrics, it appears to address some kind of interpersonal power struggle, but the words are bathed in divine melodic sensuality. Not a word of sex is uttered, but this song delivers elegant potency before, during and after your richest erotic encounters.

Doro simply sounds so hot. A recipe for spicy sexy time with your lover. Presley loved the song, and he sang the shit out of it, but he changed the lyrics and the meaning to get it approved by the record label. The things I did and I saw. Would make the earth stand still. But I love how this song is somehow forward and coy at the same time. He captures initial infatuation with someone so well.

The bass line gets me every time. Or maybe when he talks about going to sleep, he means death. Regardless, the one can fog up the windows if the mood is right.

Original Fiction

Would a therapist support the style of courtship at play here? This is not the sex shop of old, far from it. Adultmart is a womanowned business headquartered in Cleveland. Rondee Kamins bought. Her breadth of knowledge about new products and trends in the industry make her an invaluable guide through this world. When the aforementioned couple has a question about flavored lube, Conrad is right there to help.

Conrad explains that. My job is to talk to them and help them figure out what it is. There are a lot of different products out there that do different things and we help people find the right product for them. Adultmart also carries its own line of toys known as Explorotica, which can take care of every sexual desire someone might have. And no desire or fantasy is off limits for conversation in the store. The plant was deactivated in late by FirstEnergy Corporation, citing the cost of compliance with federal regulations on the emissions of lead, mercury, arsenic and other fine particles.

So, it was no surprise he jumped at doing grunt work in the oil fields of Forest County just out of high school. The effect,. Documentary poets derive their authority not so much from experience and feeling as lyric poets do, as from evidence and empathy. Their methods include deep listening, archival research, quotation of found texts oral or written. Sometimes writers manipulate or otherwise work with existing documents; other times they actively record the language of others. Often this work seeks to amplify voices or highlight events that might otherwise go unnoticed, or to cast history in a different light.

Are you a Christian? The father has just died and his. Charlie is the troubled son, unable to settle at anything and seemingly adrift in the world. Patty, as the oldest and the. The play takes place in real time over 90 minutes as the family works through some issues. I now have a confession to make. Long ago this is so painful to say I used to … write plays. The shame! What, exactly, does that therapy entail? And, for really advanced cases, they make you meet for drinks with a theater critic.

Two weeks and I was cured! Patty drags out a box housing those old slips of paper and from then on much of the play is the three of them reading pieces of doggerel written by a dead man … who happens to be standing there footnoting the poems and telling his kids how they could be signposts to a happier life … which might be helpful if the kids could hear him. The obstacles need to be much stronger, the stakes much higher and the work the characters do to achieve their objectives should be the action of the play, not these repetitive trips down memory culde-sacs.

Alan Stanford provides deft direction and a cast featuring Karen Baum, James FitzGerald, Reed Allen Worth and Tony Bingham prove that they are a resource any playwright would consider an enormous gift. George S. Kaufman used to say that he planned to spend his retirement at opening nights of new shows. In her novel My Year of Rest and Relaxation, Penguin Press, Ottessa Moshfegh gets inside of the ineffable beauty trope and then smashes it before your eyes with a literary ball peen hammer. In so doing, she turns a one-dimensional character into an authentic, interesting and not necessarily nice person.

It is glorious. COM without being gross. She lands on the idea that she needs to hit the reset button by sleeping away a year of her life. It will cure what ails her. She will emerge from her cocoon of sleep transformed. Moshfegh herself laughed about the guilty pleasure of falling asleep with something familiar on the television. She is no stranger to damaged, difficult protagonists. A frequent contributor to the Paris Review, Moshfegh has become known for her mordant, observational humor, but her take is deeper than a mere well-timed acerbic burn.

As well as a sickening sense of loss. It was proof that I had not always been completely alone in the world. Her friend Reva, with her constant doubts about being pretty enough or trendy enough of thin enough provides a perfect counterbalance to her effortless cool. This one woman show presents the stor y of 19 th Centur y abolitionist H arriet Tubman reimagined as a young woman growing up in H arlem.

Tuttle, the idiosyncratic psychiatrist through whom she obtains sleep meds. Some of the medicines are quite real, like ambien, but as the book takes life, they become fantastical. Moshfegh knew she had to tread a tight path in this regard and the scenes where the protagonist visits Dr. Tuttle are the most trenchant and hilarious in the book. And medication abuse is so scary. I knew Dr. Tuttle was going to be funny. She kind of came to me as a whole entity. At least not to my knowledge. So a lot of people turned out [because of that.

And rather than performing alone, as he had in the past, he was playing with a full band. Then, in July, while in Latvia, his. The rest of the tour was canceled. But when does it become like an oldman-in—assless chaps sort of thing? His approach to the music business has always seemed a little counter-intuitive. After his critically-beloved third record, We Must Become Pitiless Censors of Ourselves, for example, he dropped out of the public eye to finish his PhD in political philosophy.

Regardless, he holds a valuable place in the musical landscape. All with a beat you can dance to. Maus studied experimental music. From there, using vintage synthesizers, Maus developed his sound. Drawing from Gregorian chant and medieval modal scales, his records evoke gothic cathedrals as much as the chilly neon of an 80s action movie soundtrack. That leads to broader questions. What is the live concert about? Why is the audience there, and what should be expected of a performer?

I could never pull it off, is I guess the way I would say it. To make sure she left her own stamp on songs that she calls. She has gone on to release six more albums, four of which were all her own material, two of them double-disc sets. Prior to Sister. Like Day, she is an animal rights activist. She also campaigned for Vermont senator Bernie Sanders and even wrote a song about the theme of his candidacy. The cover of Normal As Blueberry.

Pie features quotes about animal rights attributed to everyone from Day herself to Abraham Lincoln. While campaigning for Sanders in , she met a woman who was fond of the latter. A lot of people have an antiauthoritarian streak even as they go about their day looking like docile members of society. Anarchy is lurking underneath. There is a little talk but we try to keep it entertaining. As years go by, you just have more music. You really need a four-hour set just to give a sampling. On her last visit to Pittsburgh, she performed A Girl Named Bill, her show about Billy Tipton, a woman who passed as a male bandleader in the s.

If people have requests, please write a note or call something out. Or send a note backstage. Friday, Feb. I decided to invite Wildy there because I wanted an expert opinion. But, Wildy does. At the age of seven, she moved to the U. They fry up their house-made seitan a wheat-based meat replacement and toss it in wing sauces, or use it in a banh mi. They have vindaloo curry and vegan stew. WIldy is immediately excited by something she spots on the menu. I, being a true American, choose to dunk. And, luckily, we both agree that chips need vinegar. Wildy tells me she started doing stand up two and a half years ago.

Though, technically, her first open mic was in Eventually the fear of not doing it was scarier than the fear of doing it. And here we were. It must have gone well, because Esposito asked her back for the next night in Harrisburg, and then for another show since then. I get a spin on fish and chips that subs battered salmon for the usual cod. It comes with mushy peas, dijon caper tartar sauce and of course, more chips. I really like the mushy peas. We need to try mashing things other than potatoes in this country.

In talking to Wildy, I can tell that she likes to see the humor in things. She says her comedy is all about her life and experiences. She even makes me laugh about a ten-car pile-up she was in. According to data gathered from the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, between and , more than , claims of sexual harassment were filed by employees 83 percent were women in restaurants and bars— more than any other industry.

A report from Restaurant Opportunities Center United found that 70 percent of men and 90 percent of women working in the restaurant industry experienced some form of sexual harassment. Surely, many issues are resolved. But, the numbers do indicate that a culture exists across the food-service industry. Nicole Battle, president of the Pittsburgh chapter of the United States Bartenders Guild USBG said some of these vulnerabilities are things like the frequent hiring of new employees, the wide range of ages in workers and the feeling of not having a place to go with concerns and complaints.

PAAR had been trying to conceptualize a training program to take into restaurants and bars that could help to start a dialogue around sexual harassment in the workplace and create preventative practices. PAAR has the resources, but they needed access to the industry. They plan to stay flexible and take it on a case-by-case basis, so that as many restaurants and bars can participate as possible. The Project Last Call kick-off event took place on Jan.

Battle thinks there is hesitation for some businesses to attach their name to a subject they feel is taboo. They might think that participating in the program would be admitting some kind of fault. At first, the businesses that are proactive about participating will probably be those that already have a relatively good culture and no tolerance for sexual harassment in the workplace. But the more people that participate, the more normal trainings to prevent harassment in the industry will become, and hopefully they can change the culture.

COM Jan. Do your Googles. We met up here so I could knock off two birds: write about BBW and his paper in the same column. If you read my last one, you know that plan went to shit. Real business-like stuff. Do not disturb. Officially official adult work in progress. So, we head to the bar to wrap things up with a quick interview about his publication. RS: So, is that what you want to do? Special, huh? No kids at the bar maybe a kid at the bar. Me: I feel like the bar is a watering. I never take a seat from a paying customer. Breweries are an adult environment. Me: The impetus for shelter or censorship is on the parent.

RS: No. People are out. Taptender: Would you guys like another beer? Me: Kolsch please.

Can a Gorean free woman be a Domina?

RS: My wife and I have never filtered our language. Me: Children need to become acquainted with the internet at an early age to survive in the future. Also, kids are better at it than us. So, why try? Come prepared. Bring the snacks, quality reading material. Make sure the batteries are charged. Better luck next time. It could be their first night out. Me: It could be a Tinder date! RS: Maybe we should probably say that. Me: Yes, we should definitely say that. Set yourself up for success. Decide who the designated driver is before you leave the house. A classic view of stacked houses known as the South Side Slopes.

Current photo by Jake Mysliwczyk. Memphis has Beale Street. Chicago has Rush and Division. Austin has 6th Street.


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And Pittsburgh has East Carson Street. They are all iconic streets in major cities, known primarily for being hedonistic pleasure spots. Booze, music, vomit in the streets—anything can and does go on these storied stretches of pavement. While East Carson Street. COM might not have the national name recognition of some of its more highflying friends, locals know that on any given weekend it can rival all of them.

Settled as so many Pittsburgh neighborhoods were by German and Eastern European immigrants who came here to work in steel and other heavy industries, South Side has its roots firmly in the working class. The influx of younger professionals and college students added to the inpouring of visitors to frequent the bars and restaurants of South Sides, and clashes are bound to occur. In order to address those. Tackling any of these is a tall order, much less addressing all of them, but a few have already shown improvement.

Take crime, for instance. Not that long ago the South Side was one of the worst neighborhoods when it came to crime rates, which can often come with being a harddrinking destination. People know that and act accordingly. Another reported outcome of the East Carson Street Business District Strategy was the desire for enhanced fitness and wellness options in the community, a box that many can say has now been ticked. Of course there is the giant L. Fitness at South Side Works, but tucked back on Mary Street, there is a community of health-oriented businesses popping up.

Anchored by Ascend, an indoor rock-climbing gym, and flanked by CrossFit Athletics and Iron City Circus Arts, this little triangle of businesses consider themselves the health epicenter of the South Side. Iron City Circus Arts was drawn to the history and eclectic beat of the city when they decided to move their shop from Brentwood to the Brew House in June of They officially organized a few years later, becoming the Brew House Association, and eventually purchased the building.

Co-owner of Iron Works, Kelsey Keller credits the space itself for some of the creative vibes her students feel. I think its the history, that so many artists have lived in this space and created in this space. Offering classes like aerial silks, acrobatics and trapeze to people of all ages and skill sets, Kelsey and Jenly Deiter, co-owner work to impart their love of the arts to their students.

So I went to school and then I went to grad school, and I was working in a lab and dancing with a company at night, and through them I found aerial arts. Come enjoy amazing food, specialty drinks, cra t beers and more! And as for how they feel about their neighborhood? We are a little tiny Mecca of people who love to get physical. We are so glad to be close to the city, and the people that live in this community are so anxious to try something new, and not every community is like that.

While he is facing some challengers, he stands by his record serving the citizens of the South Side. One of the biggest issues that remains unsolved in the area is parking, though Kraus said progress has been made. That has a number of different components from encouraging rideshare programs, providing parking for residents and visitors, and increasing public transportation. Converting vacant lots, expanding permits to vacant lots—you have to be willing to think outside of the box to solve this issue.

Or at the very least a carnival. The odds of every bar leaving East Carson Street en masse are slim to none. South Side is a place to go to drink, yes. But you can also go there to eat, to shop, to work out, to enjoy green spaces, and yes, to live. South Side is standing up, loud and proud, and shouting that they will not be defined by their reputation, or by preconceived notions. They are proud to be eclectic, and while they work to solve some of their community issues, Pittsburgh hopes that their core never changes.

Have you done work on any other celebrities? Who are some artists that you look up to? There are a couple who come to mind, Steve Soto and Victor Portugal are a couple. About House Akcros.. I had always embraced the Vampire culture—I researched Vampire houses in other cities and how they structured themselves as a family. There were a few friends I. From that, House Akcros was born. You mentioned your goal was to protect the others.

How do you see yourself and House Akcros as doing this? There is always something happening! If you see him in the shop,. But, if you see him in House of Akcros, you can call him Armond. How long have you been a tattoo artist? Certifying for medical marijuana cards! Email resume to megan compassionatecertificationcenters. The event is presented by the Holocaust Center of Pittsburgh and will feature a discussion by Hunter and presentation of photos gathered throughout the writing process. Free tickets are available for Holocaust survivors and students with a valid ID.

There are two 20 minute classes. The all ages yoga classes will emphasize partner poses, so bring your children, bring a friend or meet someone new. This is a drop in program and yoga mats are provided.

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Tonight they will bring their joyful jazz music to the City of Asylum at Alphabet City. The group aims to make liberation music without boundaries and brings together rhythms of Africa, Asia and the Yaqui people. North Ave. Free, RSVP required. Also Feb. Audiences, in turn, had the chance to enjoy top-notch performances while staying on the cutting. The inaugural event, happening Thursday, Feb. Raw and the first screening of a new independent horror film The Remedial. Bring a lunch to enjoy along with the show! Niessen explained to Time magazine that the recipient wipes their nose with the provided tissue and contracts a cold virus to get it out of the way before, say, leaving on a vacation.

In addition, several bottles of pure vanilla extract were located inside the vehicle. The Food and Drug Administration requires that pure vanilla extract must be at least 35 percent alcohol, which makes it 70 proof.