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She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none. Even in that most important area of her life, love, she had failed to commit herself.

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After her first romantic disappointment, she had never again given herself entirely. She feared pan, loss, and separation. These things were inevitable on the path to love, and the only way of avoiding them was by deciding not to take that path at all. In order not to suffer, you had to renounce love.

It was like putting out your own eyes not to see the bad things in life. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way. Love, they tell me.

Why Do We Ask, “What Is Love?”

Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony. It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams.


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Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments — but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken. A kiss that had been suspended in the air as we grew, that had traveled in the world in the souvenir of a medal, and that had remained hidden behind piles of books.

A kiss that had been lost and now was found. In the moment of that kiss were years of searching, disillusionment and impossible dreams. Anyone who chooses a religion is also choosing a collective way for worshipping and sharing the mysteries. Nevertheless, that person is the only one responsible for his or her actions along the way and has no right to shift responsibility for any personal decisions on to that religion.

All I know is that even though I can live without her, I would still like to see her again, to say what I never said when we were together: I love you more than I love myself. If I could say that, then I could go on living, at peace with myself, because that love has redeemed me. Learning is making it possible for yourself. In order not to suffer, you have to renounce love. No reason is needed for loving. When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.


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  • Coelho always dreamed of becoming a writer from an early age. Today, Paulo Coelho is one of the most widely read writers and he even holds the Guinness World Record for having the most translated books by a living author. I wish she give me her pain so that I become tranquil, How much unlucky would be that person who does not have pain. Your email address will not be published. Connect with us.

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    Make sure to leave a comment and share this with a friend! More Power To You! Paulo Coelho Quotes from The Alchemist and his other books about life, adventure and love 1. Which Paulo Coelho quote is your favorite? Anshif Ali March 26, at am. With swift and graceful logic, Jenkins points out that this is highly unlikely, primarily because,. Jenkins considers other theorists as well — such as Anne Beall and Robert Sternberg — who describe romantic love as a social construct.

    For example, romantic love in Victorian England was based on respect and admiration for the beloved, rather than sexual desire. In our contemporary society, the script of love tells us that we are expected to fall in love, marry, have children, and be monogamous for life. We get tax breaks for doing this, and are punished for choosing otherwise, which is why divorce is such a messy business, and why anyone who deviates from the norm is ridiculed, if not shamed.

    Those who indulge in too much love or sex are unfaithful, adulterers, cheaters, or sluts. The work of rebel thinker and Nobel Prize winner Bertrand Russell is one such diamond in the rough.

    What is Love?

    Schopenhauer is criticized for reducing love to heteronormative and sexist stereotypes. Rather, Jenkins proposes that biology of romantic love evolved simply to encourage us to socialize and cooperate and that the monogamous nuclear model does not, and should not need to work for everyone.

    Conversely, lesbians in the 18th and 19th centuries may have had romantic chemicals swirling about in their brains, but because they could not play the social role, were unable to express affection publically, marry, have children, or parent, they, too, were ineligible for romantic love. However, just as the biology of love persisted, the social script evolving to include queer relationships into the norm, so does Jenkins hope that society will evolve to be accepting of those who do not marry or procreate, those who love more than one person at a time, and those who reject romantic love altogether.

    The book culminates with chapters devoted to the future: what we can change and what we need to do to make changes happen. While neuroscience might well have answers for us in the future, the discipline is still relatively new. Jenkins rightly points out that such stereotypes can perpetuate discrimination, oppression, and abuse. There are anti-adultery laws in the United States, too, although Jenkins points out that the last time this law was tested was in and the punishment was community service. Overturning such outdated laws and leaving behind damaging stereotypes and stigmas would, Jenkins suggests, be good first steps toward reshaping the future of love for the better.

    Her personal approach also humanizes her argument because it gives readers concrete examples about the aggressions, judgments, and discriminations to which she has been subjected. Jealousy is a non-issue; there is no discussion of the emotional and psychological intricacies of creating and being in polyamorous relationships. Simone de Beauvoir is one of the few philosophers that Jenkins admires; yet, there is no acknowledgment that de Beauvoir herself wrote extensively about juggling her many long-term love relationships.

    Irma Thomas Anyone Who Knows What Love Is

    If Jenkins has not herself experienced these issues, this reveals a major limitation of using only herself as a case study. Jenkins also glosses over arguments about romantic love and overlooks important thinkers. She does not consider religious arguments for monogamy — for instance, the view that love unites two individuals to one other, to nature, and to God. As Robert Solomon and Kathleen Higgins, for example, point out in The Philosophy of Erotic Love , romantic love emerged specifically as the alternative to arranged marriages with the rise of Western individualism and capitalism.


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