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TIP: Repeat this exercise until you are comfortable with long, steady exhales. The reason most American Idols singers are easily forgotten after the show is because they were all about copying the original singers. Many of the musicians we remember today among the plenty ones out there is because they had their own unique style of music that no one ever had and in some cases never will. The audience certainly, will know exactly who you are , and how you are feeling at any given moment because they will see it in your eyes, on your face, and even more visible is in your body language and most importantly, they will feel it in your voice.

A perfect example is Christina Grimm performance an audition on the voice, which you can see below. See how confident and full of smile she is even when no Judge was looking? She really does enjoy what she does. May her soul rest in peace. Do not get carried away by the video anyway.. Lets continue. So for the remainder of this article, competence is what we will focus on. Just remember to keep in mind though, that without confidence as well, everything else is worthless.

Hence, the need to boost self esteem and confidence level. Talking about creating your own unique style of music and at the same time telling us to copy others? Make a list of around of your favorite singers of all-time. Not necessarily the ones you respect, but the ones you wish to sound like or have a similar voice as. TIP: Do not go about learning your all time favorite songs, but instead your favorite singers that sounds more like you and songs that really involves using pure voice, not instrumental backups or studio filtered.

If you are a man, the singers on your list should ideally be all male, and same goes for the female folks. So, every few months do take a step back and time to evaluate which voices you resonate or sound much better with, as well as the ones you do not. After doing this a few times, you will eventually settle on a list with a good mix of voices that suit you well. Next is to start borrowing from each and every one of them with the ultimate goal of eventually finding and coming up with your OWN style.

The goal is to find out which ones you mostly identify with. Now go ahead and start singing, as time goes by with consistent practice of course , you will notice yourself favoring some of those voices over others, and gradually you will start to amass more and more go-to weapons in your singing arsenal.

Sing in your middle range, then low range and then to the high range, and back to middle. Relax, then try again carefully. If you feel your voice begin to strain, stop and give yourself some time to rest. Remember to always be kind to your voice. Singing is like an exercise, and you should get nice and warm beforehand to avoid injury. Below are some singing techniques and vocal exercises you can further use to improve on your singing ability and sing better. Click to expand and read more. Practice your warm ups. Work on dynamics. Correct Vowels Pronunciation Mastery.

Lip Buzz: To do this vocal warm up, simply vibrate your lips together without pitch, at first. This will help build up your breath support and stamina while singing. Next is to try adding a pitch to your lip buzz, and then hold it anywhere from seconds. Pitch can either go up, down, or stay on one note. There should be a funny, tickling sensation in your nose and other resonators the forehead, cheeks, etc. If you do not feel this, just try again. Starting on middle C, sing through the solfege up and down the scale, taking your time and really listening to each pitch.

TIP: See if you can try this vocal warm up without a piano Acapella , as this will help with ear training! Practicing solfege is not only a great tool for your ears, but it will also help you with sight reading. If for some reason you have ever experienced a faster heart beat rate when a song transitions from a soft melody to a loud, emotional chorus, then you probably understand the power of dynamics. Start singing a comfortable pitch and then crescendo to loud then decrescendo to soft. When you start out, you will probably only be able to sing from mp mezzo piano or moderately quiet to mf mezzo forte or moderately loud , but your range will increase with practice.

Practice all of your vowels at every level and pitch high, low, and in between. There are very few pure vowels in English. At a young age, she learned the management skills and a passion for business. Her favorite activity when she was a child was to pretend to be an office manager. Her other favorite activity as a child was to excel in collegiate sports where she learned the value of both leadership and team approach. Shortly after starting her real-estate career she opened her own Century 21 Brokerage in Medicine Hat.

After an extremely successful career in real estate Crystal shifted her entrepreneurial focus to insurance and opened Crystal Metz insurance. She credits her success to her team — she has built her business by finding the right people and sharing leadership. Her team loyalty is one of her proudest accomplishments as an entrepreneur.

She challenges people to explore what makes people happy and then to go for it. Her passion is to help people build and strengthen their abilities, gain confidence, help them grow and to achieve the impossible. Tjan lists five core tensions :. Pragmatism versus Idealism Our ambitious goals versus reality. Neither one is good or bad.

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They are a productive tension. Character is a long-term investment. Good people grow by continually seeking to improve themselves and help others to become fuller versions of themselves. While good people value competency, they place a premium on character and values. They commit beyond competency to character and values of truth, compassion, and wholeness. Good people are realists and find the balance between competing priorities and tensions. Learn to balance the tensions that exist in leadership.

These five things are the Good People Mantra. They are five promises. As leaders we need to break from our role as leader to follower and relate to others human to human. Goodness come from building it in yourself and inspiring it in others. Getting some time for yourself is a challenge.

But if we are going to lead effectively, we need white space. We need solitude. I know none of us have any extra time, but there is overwhelming evidence that taking a time-out to simply think is foundational to your success. Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin explore some solid reasons why you must make the time to think in Lead Yourself First. Clarity is about what is true. What is signal and what is noise? Solitude facilitates that distillation process. It helps you to eliminate or deliberately deemphasize all distractions. That alone will help you to make the time to think. Clarity and focus go hand-in-hand.

That kind of focused attention is often best done alone. Intuition complements analytical thought. Clarity is important for decision-making but it is also critical for understanding who you are—strengths and weaknesses. It helps to connect you with your core values and understand your place from that perspective. Solitude opens the path to creativity.

People make such an effort to copy what other people do, because we have so much access to information. And people copy them. Creativity is doing something differently than the norm. Solitude allows us to get away from the inertia of our environment and connect to new possibilities.

Emotional Balance Emotional balance requires you to respond rather than react. General James Mattis finds a lack of reflection the single biggest problem facing leaders. Finds himself merely blown from one thing to another. But the leader who steps outside events is a leader who can change them.

Solitude allows you to reflect on what is making you emotional and provide clarity on the issue. Often what you are emotional about is more of a distraction than an issue. Instead of allowing our emotions to adversely affect our leadership, it is wise to move away and deal with them in private. Our emotions will find an outlet somewhere. And that is best alone than in decisions made through unfiltered emotions that affect those around us.

Solitude allows you to slow down and be clear and firmly convicted of your values and beliefs. When those criticisms come along that are design to enforce conformity, it is easier to weather the storm when you know that what you are doing is the right thing to do for the right reasons. It is the power to rise above.

Reclaiming Solitude. I could chart the ups and downs of my quality of life personally and professionally and the amount of time I spend in solitude. We are continuously bombarded by pressures— both personal and social —not to stop and reflect but if we lose our solitude, we will lose who we are. It can be a closed room, the library, a park bench, and even a waiting room. We have a responsibility to seek out periods of solitude.

We owe it to ourselves and those we lead. And where we find that disconnect we limit or even derail our leadership potential. In The Leadership Gap , Lolly Daskal addresses this gap—what it is, why it happens, and what we can do about it. The gap is always there but at some point, it comes the surface to sabotage us. The problem is that one day, suddenly, what once worked so well to propel their rise stops working.

And the very same traits that had worked for them actually start working against them. It is at this point that we need to begin asking ourselves some questions. And when there is that gap between how we want to be perceived and how we are actually being perceived, we need to take action. Either way, an understanding of what drives can give us the insight we need to avoid our leadership gaps. Daskal invites us to look at who we are being and the instincts that drive our behaviors.

She has developed seven leadership archetypes to help us gain some clarity as to what drives our beliefs and therefore our behaviors. The Seven Archetypes. The Rebel who is driven by confidence. The gap archetype is The Imposter who is so insecure they play havoc with their mind because they have self-doubt. They undermine their leadership thus keeping them from achieving greatness. The Explorer who is fueled by intuition. The gap archetype is The Exploiter who manipulates every chance they get just so you will not know how powerless they really feel.

The tendency for the Explorer is to use their intuition to manipulate others to gain control. The Truth Teller who embraces candor. The gap archetype is The Deceiver who is suspicious about everyone because they cannot trust themselves to speak the truth. Discovering the truth and then speaking up for what is right is never easy but when we find we have been deceived, we can become paranoid and suspicious of others undermining our influence. We can become a kind of victim that will not speak up when we need to because of our paranoia.

The Hero who embodies courage. The gap archetype is The Bystander who is too fearful to be brave, too conservative to take a risk, and too cautious to take a stand. Once enabled by courage, they are now sidelined by fear. We are not really afraid of losing everything—we are afraid of what will happen when we have nothing. The Inventor who is brimming with integrity. Everything in business, leadership, and success is founded on the virtue of integrity—it is the force that leads the way. The gap archetype is The Destroyer who is morally corrupt. While an Inventor puts their personal values into practice, if those values become corrupted, usually by forces such as ego, personal gain, or anger, they destroy the organization from within.

The Destroyer advocates cutting corners, quick fixes and compromising quality and standards. The Navigator who trusts and is trusted as they guide people to where they need to go. The gap archetype is The Fixer who a chronic rescuer no one trusts They want to help too much, fix too much and rescue too much. They inspire trust.

But their ability and confidence to know where to go and become an arrogance that attempts to control others—to do for others what they need to be doing themselves. The Knight for whom loyalty is everything and will stand beside you and will serve you before they serve themselves. The gap archetype is The Mercenary who is self -serving and put their own needs before those of the team, the business or the organization. Often the transition from serving to self-serving is subtle. Only after unfaithfulness shapes itself does the self-serving attitude emerge in a way it can be detected and deciphered.

Daskal reminds us that understanding our weaknesses is our greatest strength. From these seven archetypes, we can see how each has powerful abilities and hidden impediments. By knowing the gaps we can get into we can better use our strengths to achieve our own leadership greatness. Daskal explains each of these archetypes in detail and importantly how we avoid these gaps.

She describes what the positive looks like and what the negative looks like with examples for each. The Leadership Gap provides the antidote for leading on autopilot. Daskal provides insight into our behaviors and beliefs that can if not managed properly can derail even the most talented and successful leaders. Confronting and avoiding our leadership gaps is the key to attaining long-term leadership success.

Paul Meshanko has highlighted the importance of demonstrating respect in all of our interactions in The Respect Effect. The desired result is that those we interact with will feel valued in some way. He offers 12 Ways of thinking and behaving around others:. What we say is important but how we say it can make or break the communication. Develop Curiosity About the Perspectives of Others. When this happens, it becomes easier to communicate respect to others, even if we disagree with them. Assume that Everyone is Smart About Something.

The only difference is that we are all smart through different histories and life experiences. Look for Opportunities to Connect with and Support Others. When we demonstrate a willingness to move away from our immediate agenda and search for positions of agreement first, it makes working through the actual differences a bit easier. When You Disagree, Explain Why. We have an obligation to others to be truthful with our perspectives and points of view. When done with civility, tact, and room for counterarguments, sharing our perspectives leads to the best decisions and optimal results.

Look for Opportunities to Grow, Stretch, and Change. Learn to Be Wrong on Occasion.


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This means that our feeling of certainty about something is nothing more than a strong emotion. The stronger the emotion, the more likely we are to develop blind spots around it. It takes a shift in focus away from what we need to what others need. With rare exception, when we meet people who greet us with a smile, they are sending us important information about heir intentions.

Meshanko concludes with 3 key ingredients to improving your ability to demonstrate respect for others:. Once we understand the value proposition respect offers, that insight can provide us with patience, courage, and creativity. Patience permits us to maintain our composure and respectful demeanor when others are not acting at their best. Courage enables us to candidly challenge disrespectful behavior and actions directed toward others. Creativity allows us to see points of connection, even in the midst of conflict. When we bring these qualities online and into our work interactions, everyone benefits, including our peers, customers, vendors, and ultimately, our shareholders.

So if we want to have lasting change, the beginning point has to be our thinking. When we look at our behavior we have to understand that there is a thought going on in our heads that is tripping us up. And we have to change that first. One right thought can correct a lot of bad behavior. As human beings, we latch on to certain ideas and assumptions and they blind us from seeing other options and responses to what life throws at us. We get ideas in our head that can literally block us from seeing other perspectives.

We have to unlearn some behaviors and then learn and put into practice the new thinking and resulting behaviors. And it just takes time. We have to wake up every day and know that we have a tendency—not just because of our life experiences, but also because of the way that we have chosen to respond to them—to repeat a certain set of behaviors over and over again. And learn from it. And then go to work on the thinking behind the behaviors we want to change. There will always be drama.

Complaints, excuses, and regrets only serve to keep the drama alive. So, says Chism, when you experience drama you need to ask yourself three questions:. Too often this is where we get stuck. Our focus has shifted because we became confused about our number one priority. Sometimes we create drama because we want something on our terms.

Chism relates a clarifying example of this with the recently divorced Joe who is having visitation issues with his ex-wife Patty. Yes, you can fight that battle, if winning a battle is what you want. Are you willing to drive to Illinois several times a year and spend quality time with your kids, even if Patty does nothing more than cooperate? Joe will struggle if that is his motive or intention.

If he is able to let go of distractions and not get stuck on the rocks that lie between him and his final goal. Do you see that while this kind of clarity may not change all the drama, it will give you peace and free up your energy for more productive endeavors? This kind of dynamic plays out every day in our business and personal lives. When we are not clear about what we want, what our values are, what we are committed to, it is easy to lose our focus, to drift off course. Chism has written a good-natured and practical book that will change your thinking and in the process help you to control the drama in both your personal and professional life.

Chism suggests asking the following questions:. What are my top 10 principle-based values? What areas of my life or business are in the fog? What are some of the distractions that take me off course? Where do I get stuck? Where can I improve as a leader? What drama do I see on a daily basis in the workplace? What drama do I see in my personal life? Where am I avoiding or procrastinating?

STOP To start, you must stop. CUT Eliminate : Every yes contains a no. Do You Need an Attitude Adjustment? To some, this comes naturally. Others must constantly work on it. Since my earliest memory, I have had the sense that anything worth doing… worth pursuing… must be passionately pursued. A positive attitude naturally follows. I found myself first assuming leadership responsibilities at age 14 when I became an Eagle Scout. For me, getting there was just a mountain to climb. It was the culmination of 21 merit badges and a large community project.

It was the excitement of the journey, the arrival at a destination, and the achievement of the reward. For me, at 14 years old, it was like reaching the top of Mount Everest but with no real thought or plan on how I was going to get back down… the part of the climb where most people die.

But it did help jump-start a lifelong journey to develop and sharpen my leadership skills—a journey that really never ends. Great leaders constantly deal with the struggle between achieving personal goals, while doing so with humility. In high school, I held leadership roles in school government and on the sports field.

My agreement sealed my fate. All these experiences helped shape my thinking about, and commitment to, leadership because people started to turn to me to lead. I had the right attitude throughout these early years. However, there came a period in college when I lost my way. My attendance at Purdue was facilitated by an Army ROTC scholarship, at a time when the Vietnam War was stoking nationwide protests across nearly every college campus. Compared to other campuses, Purdue was a fairly conservative school, but we had a chapter of the Students for Democratic Society SDS , and they regularly protested the war on the mall or at the Armory.

I had mixed feelings about the war when I arrived at Purdue in , having spent most of my high school years in Europe—insulated from the anti-war movement. But since I had an ROTC scholarship and my dad was retiring from the Air Force and starting law school about the same time I entered college, I felt an obligation to stay in a program that was paying my way. I also worked 4 hours each evening Monday - Friday as a janitor, cleaning the second floor of the university library to help make ends meet. Then an unfortunate event happened.

Just walking across campus in uniform to attend military drills drew unwanted attention. So, when the annual Army ROTC awards ceremony occurred in the spring of my freshman year , and knowing that I was not an award recipient, I decided to skip the ceremony and attend the SDS rally in the mall instead. I followed the crowd. Upon arriving at the armory, they broke open the large truck-sized doors and entered, chanting loud and strong.

State troopers in riot gear soon arrived to keep the protesters away from the formation of cadets. He called me in the following morning and told me that my scholarship was being put on probation. This was a wakeup call for me, and it began the reshaping of my attitude. I had to decide which side to be on. I came to realize that I wanted to be a leader more than a protestor. Like some other Americans, I may have thought that the Vietnam War was ill-advised, but I also realized that there were alternative ways to make my mark on the world.

When ROTC summer camp training rolled around between my junior and senior year, I spent nine weeks at Fort Riley and did well enough to become the third ranking cadet at Purdue during my senior year. Upon graduation from Purdue in , I was one of six cadets designated a Distinguished Military Graduate. So, what should you take from this ROTC experience? In a nutshell: attitude counts.

A lot. You need building blocks to realize that dream. During those early years at Purdue—at least as it applied to an Army career—I lacked ambition, a good self-awareness, and perseverance. I then adjusted my attitude, and a 4-year commitment turned into a year career.

Consider, for example, all the other concepts that courage connects to in workplace settings. Innovation takes courage because it requires creating ideas that are ground-breaking and tradition-defying; great ideas always start out as blasphemy! And sales always take courage because it requires knocking on the doors of prospects over and over in the face of rejection.

Having a way of categorizing courageous behavior allows you to pinpoint the exact type of courage that each individual worker may be most in need of building. TRY Courage is the courage of action. It is the courage of initiative. TRY Courage requires you to exert energy in order to overcome inertia. You experience your TRY Courage whenever you must attempt something for the very first time, as when you cross over a threshold that other people may have already crossed over. First attempts; for example, the first time you lead an important strategic initiative for the company.

Pioneering efforts, such as leading an initiative that your organization has never done before. Taking action. All courage buckets come with a risk, and the risk is what causes people to avoid behaving with courage. The risk associated with TRY Courage is that your courageous actions may harm you, and, perhaps more importantly, other people. If you act on the risk and wipe out, not only are you likely to be hurt, but you could also potentially harm those around you. It is the risk of harming yourself or others that most commonly causes people to avoid exercising their TRY Courage.

TRUST Courage is very hard for people who tend to be controlling and those who have been burned by trusting people in the past. Following the lead of others, such as letting a direct report facilitate your meeting. Presuming positive intentions and giving team members the benefit of the doubt. By trusting others, you open yourself up to the possibility of your trust being misused. Thus, many people, especially those who have been betrayed in the past, find offering people trust very difficult.

For them, entrusting others is an act of courage. TELL Courage is what is needed to tell the truth, regardless of how difficult that truth may be for others to hear. It is the courage to not bite your tongue when you feel strongly about something.

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TELL Courage requires independence of thought. The courage of TELL is associated with: Speaking up and asserting yourself when you feel strongly about an issue. Using constructive confrontation, such as providing difficult feedback to a peer, direct report, or boss. Courage is Contagious Understanding and influencing courageous behavior requires that you be well versed in the different ways that people behave when their courage is activated.

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By acting in a way that demonstrates these different types of courage, and by fostering an environment that encourages them, you can make your company culture a courageous one where employees innovate and grow both personally and professionally. The only questions are what and how much. Poor choices lead you into failure, and good choices take you out of failure.

Nobody likes failure. We are lead to believe that failure means that there is something wrong with us. Failure simply represents a challenge; not something to avoid. We crave certainty, and that feeds our fears. But your purpose will compel you to keep going, adapt, and grow. Rowling, David Neeleman, and other well-known and not so well-known individuals, but he includes his own experiences that give it depth and credibility. Fail More will help you to work past your fears, the obstacles, set realistic goals, and learn from every result. Success is a process, and failure is part of that process.

Failure gives you the critical feedback you need to make the necessary adjustments to bring you closer to your goal. Life serves adversity as a barrier to entry in the pursuit of happiness.. Look within as you work to create value for people by first becoming of value to yourself.. Enjoy the fruits of your labor while you are engaged in their pursuit. Failing more is trying more. The greatest point of growth occurs right below your limit. Be one of those people that works right up to their edge of comfort. We all start at a place where we need to improve if we are going to succeed on a more significant scale.

When you seek out uncertainty, you are opening your mind to possibility. Procrastination, lack of prioritization, and the absence of goals all have their origins in fear. In order to get what you want, you have to do those things that give you the confidence to do just a little bit more the next day. In December , John F. Jefferson dined here alone. A year before his death, he was asked by a father to give some counsel to his young son, Thomas Jefferson Smith.

He responded with a letter that began: Monticello Feb. Th: Jefferson to Th: Jefferson Smith. The letter concluded with ten rules to live by Jefferson titled A Decalogue of Canons for observation in practical life : Never put off till tomorrow what you can do to-day. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself. Never spend your money before you have it. Never buy a what you do not want, because it is cheap; it will be dear to you. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst and cold. We never repent of having eaten too little. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened! Take things always by their smooth handle. When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, an hundred. The complete letter can be found on the National Archives website. Leadership and life are built on relationships. Despite any talent or education you may have, your ability to work with and influence others is what will set you apart. Your Purpose Why am I here? You are not a victim. A specific purpose helps you also to align your actions to the purpose of others and your organization.

It is nearly impossible to make good life choices with no self-awareness. A good place to get self-awareness is to watch the behavior of others. Often the behaviors that irritate you are mirrors of your own life. Social-Awareness How do you impact others? Before you interact with others, begin by asking what is the desired result based on who I am, my purpose, and who I want to be? We have an impact on everyone we meet. How do others perceive us?

Is that our intent? Does it align with our purpose?

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The other part of the Conscious Success Model is how we differentiate ourselves. We have to be more proactive, more deliberate and consciously aware.

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This is conscious success. How am I presenting myself to others? Am I having the impact I really want to make? This, of course, speaks to having a healthy self-awareness. Each of these differentiators as negative and a positive side. Either side will get you noticed. Avoid the side that will get you noticed for the wrong reasons. We mostly lack authenticity because we are trying to be what people want us to be in order to be accepted or popular.

We are inauthentic to cover up for our insecurities. Authenticity leads to trust. Consistency matters. It might seem unrealistic to do this but deciding to be percent responsible forces you to move forward. Blaming and justifying limits options and percent to zero percent responsibility expands options.

Ask questions with the intent of clarifying your understanding. Differentiator 4: Articulate for Impact Closely related to differentiator 3 on listening is articulation. Have a good vocabulary. Before you speak, consider your emotional state. Also, think about what your purpose is and what you are trying to convey. You can have a sense of humor, but it must be consistent with your image and what it is you want to accomplish.

Gratitude is a choice we make each and every day.

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Having an attitude of gratitude gives you a positive outlook which makes you more attractive to others. It takes commitment, focus, and a force of will. The Conscious Success Model provides a useful framework for not only differentiating yourself but creating a life that matters. The 9 Dimensions of Conscious Success is a great tool to put into the hands of anyone starting out in life.

The first law is often referred to as the Law of Inertia. The law states that every object will remain at rest or continue in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force. In other words, things stay the way they are unless something comes along to disrupt them. This law has the power to make us or break us. And it is at work in our lives all day, every day whether we are conscious of it or not. When we kick a soccer ball, it heads in a specific direction until it is acted upon by a force greater than the force that is currently propelling it downfield.

Like that soccer ball, our life is moving along a path that is taking us to a particular future intentionally or not. And we will continue along that path to its destination until we do something different. Our intentions mean nothing. In other words, our will be just like our unless we exert a force to change our direction that is greater than comfort we enjoy by continuing to do what we have always done producing the same results again and again. No force, no change. Get on a new path. New actions will produce different results.

For every cause, there is an effect. Today is connected to tomorrow. Every action we take and everything we say is taking us somewhere. We just need to be sure we are on the path that is taking us where we want to go; a path that is taking us to the person we want to become. If we work harder than we did last year, then we will do better. If we sacrifice now, then we are investing in our future. If we reflect, then we will grow. If we improve our leadership, then people will follow us.

If we are courageous, then we will inspire. If we are curious, then we will learn. If we avoid the trappings of power, then we will stay connected with those we serve. If we surround ourselves with the right people, then we will be enriched and will lift others up. If we are authentic and humble, then we will build trust.


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If we work this law to our advantage, then we will eradicate regret.